Got rid of the damn Ads...

Did some internet research and realised it was my chatbox which was causing them irritating ads to keep popping out.

This is the way I like my blog. Clean and crisp...so you and I can just focus on my ramblings.

5 cents worth. (it's been a while)

Apologies that its been so dreary and depressing in 2009. But that's how it has been for me. Life has reached a major crossroads. Like a juncture ripping through the fabric of my existence. Everything has changed or is about to change. I stand at the cusp of a new adventure. At the edge of a precipice.

And I do not know what is at the bottom or if I will survive the fall. Or perhaps it is a flight that I am headed for.

I once told a friend many, many years ago...and now I repeat to myself.

"Just jump. One never knows until one has jumped."

Over the edge I will go.

I am scared shitless but I know it has to be done.

Pray for me.

I do. =)

PS: In case you misread this entry, these are not SUICIDAL thoughts. They are the workings of a little voice I have all these years. Where most people see career switch and life changes. I see myself on the edge of a cliff, staring adventure in the face. Its a metaphor. =)

O Fortuna

This composition is nothing new...in fact its quite often heard in the movies or on TV. Usually has to do with some dramatic warrior sequence or some epic battle.

The thing about it is... all my life...up to this point when I am 29 going on 30...I never knew what it was called! Everytime I hear it...I feel this stirring in my heart. Its really quite an inspired composition. Gets you in the mood. Like you could join the Roman army or stand with the Elves in Lord of the Rings...

You have to hear it to understand...and you'd probably go..."oooooh...chey"

So here's "O Fortuna" and its translation.
(There's another one called "Ride of the Valkyries" by Wagner. But I think this one here...is the really bad ass one.)



O Fortune,
like the moon
you are changeable,
ever waxing
and waning;
hateful life
first oppresses
and then soothes
as fancy takes it;
poverty
and power
it melts them like ice.
Fate – monstrous
and empty,
you whirling wheel,
you are malevolent,
well-being is vain
and always fades to nothing,
shadowed
and veiled
you plague me too;
now through the game
I bring my bare back
to your villainy.
Fate is against me
in health
and virtue,
driven on
and weighted down,
always enslaved.
So at this hour
without delay
pluck the vibrating strings;
since Fate
strikes down the string man,
everyone weep with me!


Now...allow me and the wonders of Youtube to illustrate what I mean.
I loved the comic "300" and subsequently the movie too. For those of you who dished it as pop-corn fodder...yea it is.
But it was never meant to be anything else! Its not historically correct...its not supposed to be!
Its just suppose to be a good yarn...something you hear over a campfire. And Frank Miller(the writer) was merely inspired by the storytellers of old who would carry such tales of bravery and valour from generation to generation.
And to really understand the scope and scale of it...one has to read the coffee table comic. It is an incredible work of art and a damn good tale.
Here it is...a trailer of 300 set to O Fortuna. Some fella did a really good job for a music video competition. Watch it...and turn the volume up!
Enjoy.

Saturday Night - Suede

Sorry. Meloncholy continues.
This song...remains a classic to me.
Good for them days...

For those blue meloncholic days...

Meloncholy,
Dark brooding meloncholy.

Fragmented images
And haunted memories

This song loops in my head,
A gentle tune with searing lyrics.



As Tears Go By (Rolling Stones)
It is the evening of the day,
I sit and watch the children play.
Smiling faces I can see, but not for me,
I sit and watch as tears go by.

My riches can't buy ev'rything,
I want to hear the children sing.
All I hear is the sound of rain falling on the ground,
I sit and watch as tears go by.

It is the evening of the day,
I sit and watch the children play.
Doin' things I used to do they think are new.
I sit and watch as tears go by.

To the muppets, sesame street and Jim Henson

For some srange obscure reason...I've been hearing rainbow songs looping in my head.
And that often leads to Kermit the Frog's rendition of "Rainbow Connection"

Invariably it leads me to remember Jim Henson, the Muppets and Sesame Street.

Its pretty amazing how a bunch of puppets can make me feel happy. But they did.
They intrigued me and made me want to know more about them.

I never really had a favourite...but I guess their various personalities kinda formed a part of my consciousness. And they taught me values such as love and respect for one another. They taught me that it was ok to make mistakes and that one had to apologise and be responsible. They taught me also to forgive when others make mistakes. And that the world would be a much better place if we learnt to forgive.

They showed me that friends would love each other, no matter what size or difference there was. They showed me that we all have different qualities which you can learn to admire. Some are better in music and others are good in acting, some are good at cooking while others are just made to count. Some may look dirty and ugly and live in garbage cans...but as long as their heart is pure and gold...then the world will always be a better place.

These puppets showed me that the world is beautiful. I will always see it that way.

And all it takes sometimes...is for just one person to believe in you.
Thank you Jim Henson...for making me believe. And for showing me that I can also believe in others.

Listen to this song. It is one of my favourite. A little unknown song that means a lot to me...

Something warm, fuzzy and happy

I've gotta stop with the sad and emo videos.

Here's a song that always draws a smile to my face.
Originally covered by a big hawaiian dude called Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole...

And now beautifully done by this young singer.

Enjoy...

Songs for the mood.

There are songs that just befit the mood of the moment.

Putting things down in words will lead to just a meandering train of thought that ultimately has no meaning in the end.

I've let a person down lately. Now I fear what I am and what I can do to others.

And so there are songs that jus make sense for the moment.

Goodnight Goodnight. (Maroon 5)

You left me hanging from a thread we once swung from together
I've lick my wounds but I can't ever see them getting better
Something's gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

Her hair was pressed against her face, her eyes were red with anger
Enraged by things unsaid and empty beds and bad behavior
Something's gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah
Whoa

The room was silent as we all tried so hard to remember
The way it feels to be alive
The day that he first met her
Something’s gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

You make me think of someone wonderful, but I can't place her
I wake up every morning wishing one more time to face her
Something's gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right

So much to love
So much to learn
But I won't be there to teach you, oh
I know I can be close
But I try my best to reach you

I'm so sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah
Whoa, oh…
Yeah

Already Gone.

It's over. Really over. Nothing I can do.
I could. But something snapped. We tried. I tried. But it wasn't enough.
It will never be enough. Something's gotta give.
Somehow...I know...there will that someone who will understand you the way I never did.

Something's I wish I could say to you. But knowing it will hurt, I'll just leave it here.
Maybe you'll see it in time. Or maybe not.

The things I hold dear and fondly...are the simplest.
That goofy grin.
That last bit of soup I'd save for you to slurp up.
The sight of you finding chocs and little tidbits to satisfy your cravings.
Helping to scratch my back.

And when the tears started rolling...I knew it was enough. I won't stand to see anymore.
I will be there for you if you need me. But we will never be.

Good night. Good bye. Time to move on.



Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so,
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Stuck in reverse.

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

COULD IT BE WORSE?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face

And I

Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Tears stream down your face

And I

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

The world has changed once again.

The first time I heard this song...I was probably 15.
14 years later...the full meaning of its lyrics finally resonate in me.

My world imploded recently and I'm a little lost.

It's gonna be long while till I am back again. It is the single worst feeling ever. And I wish there was something I could do about it. But I can't. And it is beyond me now.

You say, I only hear what I want to

And you say, I talk so all the time, so

And I thought what I felt was simple

And I thought that I don't belong

And now that I am leavin'

Now I know that I did somethin' wrong'

Cause I missed you

Yeah yeah, I missed you

And you say, I only hear what I want to

I don't listen hard, don't pay attention

To the distance that you're running

To anyone, anywhere

I don't understand if you really care

I'm only hearing negative, no no no, bad

So I, I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up

And this woman was singin' my song

Lover's in love and the other's run away

Lover is cryin', 'cause the other won't stay

Some of us hover when we weepin' for the other

Who was dying since the day they were born, well

Well, this is not that I think that I'm throwing

But I'm thrown

And I thought I'd live forever

But now I'm not so sureYou try to tell me that I'm clever

But that won't take me anyhow

Or anywhere with you

And you said that I was naive

And I thought that I was stronger

I thought, hey I can leave, I can leave

Oh but now I know that I was wrong

'Cause I missed you

Yeah, I missed you

You said, "You caught me

'Cause you want me"

One day you'll let me go

You try to give away a keeper

Or keep me 'cause you know

You're just so scared to lose

And you say, "Stay"

And you say, I only hear what I want to