"eu-neh-neh" or "eu-nee-nee"?

APAD 5/365: So I'm just that lil' bit excited...

2010-08-19T18:26:00.003+08:00

Just taking a moment to blog as I sit at a kopitiam in Jalan Besar. By a stroke of luck, an ol' buddy of mine had extra tickets to tonight's YOG soccer game between Singapore and Montenegro.

Its pretty obvious as to where my allegiance would lie. COME ON BOYS! ROAR LIONS ROAR! Or should that be cubs? Hahaha.

I think its gonna be tough match for our boys. Whilst I havent exactly seen Montenegro play. The europeans do tend to be bigger and fitter. European football, Spain and Portugal aside, is historically tactical, technical and disciplined. Less flair and more robust disciplined action across the field.

Our boys? I think they aren't as technically astute nor as fit as the Europeans, nonthelesss, they probably will play their hearts out. Which is more than I can say for some of the recent games I've watched of the Senior Team.

The hour cometh and I'm waiting for my buddies to arrive. Gonna try the famous Jalan Besar Sambal Fish and Zhi Char...before kick off at 8pm.

Pleasantly surprised to see the YOG Basketball team with their coach sitting in front of me. These boys are tall. Had a short conversation with the tallest one and he mentioned that it was an off day for them so they are here to support the soccer team. Ahh...such joy to be an athlete in these times. (aside from the gruelling training and balancing of books)

Anyway....decided to buy them a round of drinks. Glad I managed to catch the kopi uncle's eye and told him that I would pay for their drinks. Its only drinks...but its my small little way of saluting them and honouring their contribution to our country.

Enjoy your drinks boys! GO SINGAPORE GO!

APAD 4/365: What could possibly turn me...

2010-08-18T00:41:00.002+08:00

(APAD 4 is just a bonanza of doing 2 posts in a day. keke...)

When I was doing National Service, I learnt to fire a M16 rifle.
While it was a fun thing to do, not to mention the enhancement of one's ego at the ability to shoot and kill...a new found fear soon dawned upon me.

In my hands lay a weapon by which I could decide a person's life. It was powerful...in a chilling sort of way. So I begin to question if I could actually do it. Could I actually kill another human being? Even in a war...or in an extreme situation of similar nature...could I actually pull the trigger or inflict a mortal wound on another? I dun think I could though...I felt that its like killing a part of your own humanity when u destroy another.

But recently a can of worms was opened by a friend who posted about child rapists. It led me to question again. Were my own daughter or son sexually abused by another...would it drive me to kill out of rage and vengence. Surprisingly...I think I could.

I think the child rapists or paedophiles are the worst lot. I cannot accept that one would be willing to treat an innocent child in that manner. So if someone should do it to my own child I might conspire to kill the person. Come to think of it...if it happened to my wife...it might trigger a similar level of rage and violence.

But I dunno. Perhaps it is too hypothetical. I just know that with the above heinous acts, reason enough can be found within me to destroy another's life. Even if it means I end up in jail.

I think some of my friends may disagree with their religious doctrine. Well...do let me know if you think it different. Its just something I thought about.

APAD 3/365: To the beautiful people...

2010-08-18T00:10:00.004+08:00

Of late I have had opportunity to know at a more personal (but not intimate) level, a few new friends who are homosexuals. More specifically, they were gay men.

Should anyone think this is the start of another purgatory against them, let me state outright and quantify myself in stating that I thoroughly enjoyed their company. I spent 3 days on a road trip with them and had very engaging conversations and discussions as well as a whole lot of fun.

I'm not saying that I begin with a sterotypical view of them which changed through the course of a road trip. Rather I've always known that gays make wonderful friends as well...we are after all human beings. As a friend remarked, race or religion...there are only good people and bad people. (I personally think there are more good people on Earth) So whatever their orientation, this would have been a swell bunch to hang out with.

Instead I write this because I want to quantify a part of me that has some strong aversion to them. But I'm starting to think that it may be too strong a word to use on myself. In particular I am more affected by gay men then gay women. Allow me to explain.

I don't think gay men are bad people. It's merely their sexual orientation. As I interacted more with them, I come to think its more of nature as opposed to nurture. I don't think there's a choice about being gay. Maybe to some...but for my new found friends, it doesn't seem that way. Yet I do not deny to feeling a little sickened at displays of affection at one another. It's wierd to see a guy being intimate with another. On the other hand...they may feel the same way about me and my partner in our heterosexual relationship.

Perhaps I am grown on a steady diet of strong machosimo man. Alpha Males who take charge. Masculinity is virtue. Like a lion strutting its mane, or an elephant with its manly tusks. And when I see man acting differently...my world folds inwards upon itself. I can't understand it. And as the history of human beings have shown...what we dun understand...we often fear.

Homophobic? Probably not. Perhaps a fear of what I don't understand. A fear of male impotence and fragility. Of coming to terms with a fellow man who expresses himself in a totally different manner from me.

And yet so many similarities abound between us. That we are all human beings who seek to build healthy relationships with others around us. We share common goals for our career and personal life. We cry when we are sad, shout when we are in pain, laugh when happy and above all else...struggle to live a good life. And as gays...they might even face a tougher struggle of prejudice and acceptance.

Forgive me if I cannot take it when you display your intimacy to your similar gender partners. It still raises the hair on my neck. But know that I gladly accept you as my brother or sister, to stand beside me should the hour cometh.

Oh...and the part about gay women...hee hee...maybe there's some raging male hormone filled fantasy about it. Go figure. HAHAHAHA!

And one question remains to be answered:
What if my son or daughter were to turn out gay one day?
I probably have an answer in mind...but I still think its too hypothetical. I will only know should the day arise.

Good night gentle folks and beautiful people. May the sun shine warm upon your face as it always does to me every morning.

APAD 2/365: This is home truly...where I know I must be

2010-08-16T02:21:00.002+08:00

Recently a friend remarked to me that he had no loyalties to Singapore. He simply felt that Singapore had done nothing for him and that he owed Singapore no debt. Given a chance he would probably move to another country or should something tumultous occur within this region he would migrate to a separate country.

I am not sure if he truly meant what he said. Or could he be influenced by a wave of contemporary feelings amongst his peers? I do not know. What I do know is that as he said these words I felt a chill run down my spine. It made me question the value of loyalty to one's country. I won't even define it as patriotism, which seems to be too strong a word. Just a love or a sense of belonging to one's nation. Is it so hard to cultivate? Why did my friend feel this way?

And interestingly enough...why do I feel so strongly for Singapore. What burns in me? Happy and proud to be Singaporean. Why have I felt that my roots are here and that this is where I will build my life. Why do I stand unwavering about my nationality? Why do I feel I am able to stand and defend it if necessary?

By the way...same friend above has a cushy job, drives a luxury car and recently bought a luxury condominium unit. Clearly the notion of loyalty to nation has nothing to do with material wealth.

But...it is not doom and gloom. I still have friends who clearly state their love for the country. And I secretly thank them for sharing my belief for our tiny nation. It reinforces my views as well. One friend always shares how she hears the song "Home" by Kit Chan everytime her plan approaches the tarmac at Changi Airport. Unabashedly...I hear the same song and others as well. And its not just at the airport. At the ports...at the Causeway...coming home inadvertently makes me hum the tune to some good ol' Singapore songs.

Then I also have friends who like to ridicule me if I declare my love so boldy. Which makes me wonder why as well. When is it funny to make fun of someone who cares dearly for his tiny strip of land? Why do you tease me if I say that I am proud to be Singaporean? If you truly do not like this nation...why dun you just leave and find another? If you have so many things against this system and government...pack your bags and find another then. Me? I am happy to work my way with it and around it. I also find ways to critique it and put in my opinions to be heard so that the system can be improved. I have a cause and you have no right to judge me upon it. Then again...I have never been one to care for the jokes and insults of others. So long as my heart bleeds true and continues to bleed the red and white of my flag I have no fear of the small thinking of others.

Here I stand then. Declaring my love for this tiny nation. I sing its song with pride. And even though I may have heard the anthem a thousand times over...I still get goosebumps when it is played. My heart swells with its chorus and yes...I know the lyrics to most of the old national day songs. And should the day come, when cause becomes action, I will draw arms to defend what is my land, my home and my country. I have no recourse about it. I just know it.

I am Singapore, so it is and so it shall be.

APAD 1/365: Ode to the GAME...(and my grandmother)

2010-08-14T01:22:00.003+08:00

When it comes to soccer...I gotta admit that my grandmother is pretty good at it.
Nothing spectacular...just that I happen to have a grandmother can score goals better than any striker if presented with a glorious opportunity to shoot.

Yup. Better than the Van Nistelrooys or the Rooneys or the Torres or the Ronaldos.
My grandmother knows how to position herself in the goal area and unleash the most technical of volleys or toe-pokes in order to ensure that the white orb enters into the crevice behind the line.

I've lost track of the number of times I have said out loud," Even my grandmother also could have scored!" Therefore...if the Fergusons or the Mourinhos are reading this. They should sign my grandmother. I'd probably price her at 30million pounds.

Enjoy the game guys! Its back!

PS: SINGTEL...I still hate you. MIO TV sucks. Your remote control is so tiny with miniscule lettering...even I have difficulty looking for the right button to press! Have you not heard of ERGONOMIC designs? I pity my grandmother...even though she is the world's best striker.

PSS: You'll never walk alone...(even if I have become jaded)

A post a day...(maybe even two?)

2010-08-14T01:03:00.002+08:00

Revelations, massive waves of thoughts, solutions to problems, moments of inspiration, paths to enlightenment...you get the idea...often come to me in 3 scenerios.

1. I am in the shower and the water is pouring over my head.
Something about the goblets of cool water as they rush down in waves upon my head and ease the tension of the day or awaken me from my slumber causes a flury of activity to take root in my brain. I have lost count of the number of times that inspiration in the morning has provided me solutions to problems.

2. Driving on the open road.
Take the PIE or AYE-ECP at 4am in the morning and you'll know what I mean. Wind the windows down and breathe in the crisp early morning air...and ideas just fill my head.

3. Poo Poo.
What is commonly known as number 2 or big business in the toilet. Seating on my throne and easing the tension in my colon also helps me think. I also read a lot in the toilet.

Judging by no. 1 and 3...you probably realise where I would spend a lot of money in my home design.

Inspired by a friend who did "A Photo A Day" (APAD)...I had one of my revelations and decided that I shall religiously update my blog. A POST A DAY.

I mean...why have a blog if you leave it to fester right? So ok...I shall set a task for myself and that is to update this blog RELIGIOUSLY everyday. One post a day...just to see what it would be like. Its kinda like Julia Childs who cooked a receipe a day. (Yes...I watched Julia & Julia and thoroughly enjoyed it)

I also say religiously because I'm gonna liken it to saying my bedtime prayers. Except I'm not praying of course. Just rambling about thoughts that come into my head as the day passes.

I won't write about my day...although I may sometimes. But I prefer writing about little things that seem to come and go in my head.

I shall start.

On this day...it would have been six

2010-08-12T15:22:00.002+08:00

A day to remember what could have been.
Thoughts come and thoughts go,
Invariably they end up going back to when things were.

I never intended it to end this way
But it did.
Regrets, I've had a few;
This would be the biggest.

Wishing you well in whatever you do.
We'll pass each other someday
I wouldnt know you and you wouldnt know me by then.

Good bye though memories will linger.
They always do.

"I can smell the germs" - A story of no sense or sensibility

2010-07-30T00:28:00.002+08:00

Every once in a while, in the short existence of our meaningful, meaningless or meandering lives, we inadvertently stumble upon certain individuals who stretch the boundaries of common sense and sensibilities. Individuals, who through the narrowness of their minds and their own self-centred universe, cause us to react in disgust, loathing and even pity. For such is the tiny state of your little mind that I pity you for being blind to what is the true beauty of the world we live in.

I had the rare occasion of stumbling upon aforesaid individual during the course of my work and it warrants a long blog post about it.

Almost a year ago, I was posted to a school specialising in education for autistic children. I was to be there for 4 days to help invigilate the pupils in a nationwide examination. It was an eye-opener for me and an enriching experience providing me with insight into the otherwise reclusive world of autism. It was an incredibly interesting 4 days and I was very happy to have been posted there.

The nature of autism is such that the pupils take the examinations in individual rooms. They are separated from each other because in a highly strung situation like the national examinations, some may "act up" in a need to release the tension and stress that builds up in their bodies. When a pupil "acts up", in invariably increases the stress levels of those around him. As a precaution the pupils are allowed to sit for the exams in individual rooms. In my role as the invigilator, I will accompany a teacher and the pupil into the room and ensure that the examinations are conducted in a proper manner. So there are just 3 of us in a classroom. The pupil, an internal invigilator (a teacher) and an external invigilator (me!). It is a non-threatening environment and works well for the pupils. After each paper, the external invigilator returns to the main room to submit the papers and to have a short breather. (You try standing in a room for two hours, looking at the same pupil and nothing else...the break is a welcome relief!)

Day 1 of my assignment starts out pretty well. I am in-charge of a young boy and he is proving to be quite humourous to talk to. After the paper, we would spend some time chatting about his life and what he plans to do after the examinations. Something about a birthday celebration and what his folks intend to do. I'm glad I could connect with him and he seems pleased to see me as well. End of the day he even has the courtesy to wish me a good day. I am bemused and secretly wish him all the best for his papers.

Day 2 begins with the Chief Examiner giving out our assignments to us. For the sake of familiarity, we are likely assigned to the same candidate on the second day as well. The Chief begins calling our names and telling us which pupil we are assigned to. Suddenly, a commotion draws my attention to a lady talking animatedly to the Chief Examiner. I shall try to recreate the conversation below.

(names are kinda changed to protect identities...but I so wish I could say who she was and which well known primary school she taught in Ang Mo Kio!)

Chief Examiner (CE) : Ok, Flo, same as yesterday, you will be invigilating Pupil A.

Lady : *eyes widen* Pupil A again! No! He's very sick you know! I think he has the flu and he keeps wiping his nose. Yesterday I invigilated him and it's so bad I can smell the germs in the room! Very bad leh! He is very sick!

CE : *in comforting tone* Oh...don't worry. We have isolated him and we are checking his temperature now. He will be taking the examination away from the main population and he will be wearing a mask. Both invigilators will also be required to wear a mask.

Lady : *reacts in paranoia* No...No...No! He is really sick. HE IS SO SICK I CAN SMELL THE GERMS YOU KNOW! Can you change me? I don't wish to invigilate him.

CE : *gives in, does not want a scene* Errr...ok la. We see if anyone can replace you ah.
*addresses the room* Ok, invigilators...anyone wishes to change with Flo?

At this point in time, I am seated on a chair nearby and I am shocked beyond words. Flabbergasted...utterly disgusted by this lady's behaviour. I am revolted by the scene happening in front of me.

Is it not bad enough that a child with autism lives with prejudice and labels his entire life?

Is it not bad enough that a child with autism has to deal with the nature of his condition?

Is it not bad enough that a child with autism has to deal with how the public perceives him?

Is it not bad enough that a child, autistic or not, is sick?

Is it not bad enough that a child, autistic or not, is in a highly stressed situation of completing a national examination?

IS IT NOT BAD ENOUGH YOU BLOODY BITCH!!!!!

Every child has feelings. And most certainly he or she can tell when you despise or do not wish to be close to him or her.

And here...we have a teacher. A PRIMARY SCHOOL TEACHER!

She is afraid of him...because he is sick? She can SMELL THE GERMS IN THE ROOM!?!?!?

Here's the scene as it appeared in my imagination...

*Eugene walks over to the teacher and SMACKS her HARD on the HEAD. Then Eugene delivers a string of profanities and vulgarities in her direction to show how much he loathes and hates her. Takes over her duty and says in her face...

"YOU NARROW MINDED BITCH! YOU CALL YOURSELF A TEACHER! EVERY CHILD HAS GERMS YOU COCK! SICK OR NOT...THIS IS A CHILD AND YOU HAVE NO BLOODY RIGHT TO DESPISE HIM MERELY BECAUSE HE IS SICK!"*

Now...that was my imagination...I didn't want to create a scene. So I merely told the Chief Examiner that I would swap with the teacher. The look on the CE's face was priceless. And seriously...I wasn't bothered if the child was sick. He deserved a shot at the examinations regardless of condition. And no child should go through what he did yesterday - having to take a paper and sensing that the invigilator shuns you.

Looking back. I wish I had exploded and taught Flo a lesson. I was sooooo angry.

At the end of everything I found out that Pupil A merely had the sniffles. A common cold. Everybody gets it once in a while. And while doing the exams with a mask I noticed he had to remove it every few minutes to wipe his nose. It was bothering him. Immediately I asked the internal invigilator if she minded that Pupil A be allowed to remove the mask. The internal invigilator was glad to hear it from me. So with clearance from the CE, we got pupil A to remove his mask to continue his examination in peace. As a precaution, both the Internal Invigilator and I had to stay masked though.

The Internal Invigilator was very thankful to me. She even mentioned how paranoid the previous invigilator (Flo). This made me seethe in anger again. I could feel my blood boil.

But deep inside I was glad I did what I could for this child and made him more comfortable.

End of the day, the child could complete his paper in peace and both me and the internal invigilator were none the worse for it. So the rest of the days invigilating passed by without incident...and it seems that we could all do our jobs and go home happily.

So I figured...just didn't realise that I had to contend with you-know-who...

Here's what happened...

LAST DAY OF INVIGILATION...we are done for the week, eagerly waiting in the room as the scripts are checked and counted to make sure that all submissions are completed. I am seated at the corner of a table where the Chief Examiner is busy with counting and admin. Flo is seated two chairs away from me on the same table. I tell myself I will leave in disgust if she moves near me. Suddenly there is movement, a door opens and the Vice-Principal of the school steps into the room. The room lightens up. Her appearance signifies that all is well and almost all checks is complete. Flo begins chatting with VP. Here is an account of what happen. (will try to be accurate...yes...it still sticks in my mind)

Flo: Ms VP (name protected)...have you been in this school long?

VP: Oh couple of years.

Flo: Oh...so are you under Ministry of Education?

VP: Oh yah, now I am. I was actually a succesful business woman and I started by volunteering at this school. Then couple of years ago, they decided that I was suitable to be a VP and approached me for the role. So I reviewed my life and decided to earn a little less money but do something more meaningful. That's how I became a VP here. *smile*

Flo: Wow, you are a great woman. You must be a CHRISTIAN right? (Flo has a necklace with a cross...so go figure)

VP: *smiles and declines to answer...goes about her tasks*

Eugene : OH MAN! *point at Flo* You ignorant fool! What kind of a comment is that?
*string of unpublishable profanities directed at Flo*
Are you implying that it is only the CHRISTIANS who know how to be magnaminous and generous and kind? What about my mother? She does kind deeds all the time and she's Buddhist? What about my best friend? He's a Muslim and he's a gentle soul.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? I know you are Christian.
DID JESUS CHRIST TEACH YOU TO SHUN POOR AUSTISTIC BOYS SIMPLY BECAUSE HE HAS A COLD? JESUS WALKED AMONG THE LEPERS AND THE BLIND! What did you DO as a christian?! Ask yourself that you BITCH! *frothing in anger*

Ok...that didn't happen. I wished it did. But somehow I held my tongue. I dunno why. Maybe its cause I dun have the courage to do it. Or maybe its because I always remind myself to stay happy and that the world is too beautiful to let the little things or the little people hurt you.

Whatever the case...I will always remember this incident.

It reminds me that I made a difference in a young boy's life, no matter how fleeting the moment.
It reminds me that life is beautiful and there are beautiful people.

It reminds me that some people are just not worth it. Leave them be.

It reminds me that sometimes....I should pluck the courage to tell idiots off.

Thank you for reading. It was great sharing this.

Be well and stay healthy and happy everyone. Tomorrow is always a better day. =)

Helping Haiti

2010-03-02T11:25:00.003+08:00

An old favourite tune of mine re-done for the Haiti survivors.
Poignant lyrics.

When your day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries n everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
If you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

INVICTUS

2010-01-17T13:39:00.002+08:00

Man spends 27 years in a political prison. Most times in isolation in a tiny bare cell.
At times having to toil under the hot sun doing menial labour designed to break not only your back but your soul.

Man not only survives this ordeal but when he eventuallybecomes the leader of his country, he chooses not to persecute his former oppressors. Instead he chooses a policy of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Truly remarkable. And you start wondering how did he ever survive those 27 long years.
In those same 27 years, I would have grown from a baby to a child, gone to school and finished university and started a career, maybe a family. But this man spent it in jail.
It boggles the mind just thinking about how this man maintains his sanity and soul.

The man simply says that it was a few words from a poem that kept him going. He had memerised it and recited it over and over again. I applaud this man and the greatness that has come to define him. And so here I share the poem which kept him going through adversity.

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my Fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

~William Ernest Henley

The man was Nelson Mandela and I am moved by the poem he has introduced into my life.
May this poem also inspire my friends who read this, especially through the rough patches.

Be the captain of your soul and bow not your head, even though it is bloody.

Got rid of the damn Ads...

2009-12-22T03:53:00.002+08:00

Did some internet research and realised it was my chatbox which was causing them irritating ads to keep popping out.

This is the way I like my blog. Clean and crisp...so you and I can just focus on my ramblings.

5 cents worth. (it's been a while)

Apologies that its been so dreary and depressing in 2009. But that's how it has been for me. Life has reached a major crossroads. Like a juncture ripping through the fabric of my existence. Everything has changed or is about to change. I stand at the cusp of a new adventure. At the edge of a precipice.

And I do not know what is at the bottom or if I will survive the fall. Or perhaps it is a flight that I am headed for.

I once told a friend many, many years ago...and now I repeat to myself.

"Just jump. One never knows until one has jumped."

Over the edge I will go.

I am scared shitless but I know it has to be done.

Pray for me.

I do. =)

PS: In case you misread this entry, these are not SUICIDAL thoughts. They are the workings of a little voice I have all these years. Where most people see career switch and life changes. I see myself on the edge of a cliff, staring adventure in the face. Its a metaphor. =)

O Fortuna

2009-12-22T03:07:00.005+08:00

This composition is nothing new...in fact its quite often heard in the movies or on TV. Usually has to do with some dramatic warrior sequence or some epic battle.

The thing about it is... all my life...up to this point when I am 29 going on 30...I never knew what it was called! Everytime I hear it...I feel this stirring in my heart. Its really quite an inspired composition. Gets you in the mood. Like you could join the Roman army or stand with the Elves in Lord of the Rings...

You have to hear it to understand...and you'd probably go..."oooooh...chey"

So here's "O Fortuna" and its translation.
(There's another one called "Ride of the Valkyries" by Wagner. But I think this one here...is the really bad ass one.)

O Fortune,
like the moon
you are changeable,
ever waxing
and waning;
hateful life
first oppresses
and then soothes
as fancy takes it;
poverty
and power
it melts them like ice.
Fate – monstrous
and empty,
you whirling wheel,
you are malevolent,
well-being is vain
and always fades to nothing,
shadowed
and veiled
you plague me too;
now through the game
I bring my bare back
to your villainy.
Fate is against me
in health
and virtue,
driven on
and weighted down,
always enslaved.
So at this hour
without delay
pluck the vibrating strings;
since Fate
strikes down the string man,
everyone weep with me!

Now...allow me and the wonders of Youtube to illustrate what I mean.
I loved the comic "300" and subsequently the movie too. For those of you who dished it as pop-corn fodder...yea it is.
But it was never meant to be anything else! Its not historically correct...its not supposed to be!
Its just suppose to be a good yarn...something you hear over a campfire. And Frank Miller(the writer) was merely inspired by the storytellers of old who would carry such tales of bravery and valour from generation to generation.
And to really understand the scope and scale of it...one has to read the coffee table comic. It is an incredible work of art and a damn good tale.
Here it is...a trailer of 300 set to O Fortuna. Some fella did a really good job for a music video competition. Watch it...and turn the volume up!
Enjoy.

Saturday Night - Suede

2009-11-15T01:01:00.002+08:00

Sorry. Meloncholy continues.
This song...remains a classic to me.
Good for them days...

For those blue meloncholic days...

2009-11-15T00:50:00.002+08:00

Meloncholy,
Dark brooding meloncholy.

Fragmented images
And haunted memories

This song loops in my head,
A gentle tune with searing lyrics.

As Tears Go By (Rolling Stones)
It is the evening of the day,
I sit and watch the children play.
Smiling faces I can see, but not for me,
I sit and watch as tears go by.

My riches can't buy ev'rything,
I want to hear the children sing.
All I hear is the sound of rain falling on the ground,
I sit and watch as tears go by.

It is the evening of the day,
I sit and watch the children play.
Doin' things I used to do they think are new.
I sit and watch as tears go by.

To the muppets, sesame street and Jim Henson

2009-10-13T12:31:00.002+08:00

For some srange obscure reason...I've been hearing rainbow songs looping in my head.
And that often leads to Kermit the Frog's rendition of "Rainbow Connection"

Invariably it leads me to remember Jim Henson, the Muppets and Sesame Street.

Its pretty amazing how a bunch of puppets can make me feel happy. But they did.
They intrigued me and made me want to know more about them.

I never really had a favourite...but I guess their various personalities kinda formed a part of my consciousness. And they taught me values such as love and respect for one another. They taught me that it was ok to make mistakes and that one had to apologise and be responsible. They taught me also to forgive when others make mistakes. And that the world would be a much better place if we learnt to forgive.

They showed me that friends would love each other, no matter what size or difference there was. They showed me that we all have different qualities which you can learn to admire. Some are better in music and others are good in acting, some are good at cooking while others are just made to count. Some may look dirty and ugly and live in garbage cans...but as long as their heart is pure and gold...then the world will always be a better place.

These puppets showed me that the world is beautiful. I will always see it that way.

And all it takes sometimes...is for just one person to believe in you.
Thank you Jim Henson...for making me believe. And for showing me that I can also believe in others.

Listen to this song. It is one of my favourite. A little unknown song that means a lot to me...

Something warm, fuzzy and happy

2009-10-13T10:09:00.003+08:00

I've gotta stop with the sad and emo videos.

Here's a song that always draws a smile to my face.
Originally covered by a big hawaiian dude called Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole...

And now beautifully done by this young singer.

Enjoy...

Songs for the mood.

2009-10-06T17:44:00.003+08:00

There are songs that just befit the mood of the moment.

Putting things down in words will lead to just a meandering train of thought that ultimately has no meaning in the end.

I've let a person down lately. Now I fear what I am and what I can do to others.

And so there are songs that jus make sense for the moment.

Goodnight Goodnight. (Maroon 5)

2009-10-05T11:41:00.002+08:00

You left me hanging from a thread we once swung from together
I've lick my wounds but I can't ever see them getting better
Something's gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

Her hair was pressed against her face, her eyes were red with anger
Enraged by things unsaid and empty beds and bad behavior
Something's gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah
Whoa

The room was silent as we all tried so hard to remember
The way it feels to be alive
The day that he first met her
Something’s gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

You make me think of someone wonderful, but I can't place her
I wake up every morning wishing one more time to face her
Something's gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right

So much to love
So much to learn
But I won't be there to teach you, oh
I know I can be close
But I try my best to reach you

I'm so sorry, I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right, yeah
Whoa, oh…
Yeah

Already Gone.

2009-08-30T00:35:00.006+08:00

It's over. Really over. Nothing I can do.
I could. But something snapped. We tried. I tried. But it wasn't enough.
It will never be enough. Something's gotta give.
Somehow...I know...there will that someone who will understand you the way I never did.

Something's I wish I could say to you. But knowing it will hurt, I'll just leave it here.
Maybe you'll see it in time. Or maybe not.

The things I hold dear and fondly...are the simplest.
That goofy grin.
That last bit of soup I'd save for you to slurp up.
The sight of you finding chocs and little tidbits to satisfy your cravings.
Helping to scratch my back.

And when the tears started rolling...I knew it was enough. I won't stand to see anymore.
I will be there for you if you need me. But we will never be.

Good night. Good bye. Time to move on.

Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so,
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Stuck in reverse.

2009-07-27T11:37:00.001+08:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

COULD IT BE WORSE?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face

And I

Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Tears stream down your face

And I

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

The world has changed once again.

2009-07-27T11:17:00.002+08:00

The first time I heard this song...I was probably 15.
14 years later...the full meaning of its lyrics finally resonate in me.

My world imploded recently and I'm a little lost.

It's gonna be long while till I am back again. It is the single worst feeling ever. And I wish there was something I could do about it. But I can't. And it is beyond me now.

You say, I only hear what I want to

And you say, I talk so all the time, so

And I thought what I felt was simple

And I thought that I don't belong

And now that I am leavin'

Now I know that I did somethin' wrong'

Cause I missed you

Yeah yeah, I missed you

And you say, I only hear what I want to

I don't listen hard, don't pay attention

To the distance that you're running

To anyone, anywhere

I don't understand if you really care

I'm only hearing negative, no no no, bad

So I, I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up

And this woman was singin' my song

Lover's in love and the other's run away

Lover is cryin', 'cause the other won't stay

Some of us hover when we weepin' for the other

Who was dying since the day they were born, well

Well, this is not that I think that I'm throwing

But I'm thrown

And I thought I'd live forever

But now I'm not so sureYou try to tell me that I'm clever

But that won't take me anyhow

Or anywhere with you

And you said that I was naive

And I thought that I was stronger

I thought, hey I can leave, I can leave

Oh but now I know that I was wrong

'Cause I missed you

Yeah, I missed you

You said, "You caught me

'Cause you want me"

One day you'll let me go

You try to give away a keeper

Or keep me 'cause you know

You're just so scared to lose

And you say, "Stay"

And you say, I only hear what I want to

Death and passing

2008-12-16T01:07:00.005+08:00

Death is for the old, the wrinkled and the gnarly.

When you've lived past 75, I think one has lived enough.

Or perhaps its past the milestones where one has lived to be married, to have had children, to have seen them grow, to have watched them as they drift away and then come back; to complete the cycle with grandchildren and then to lay down and gasp your last breath.

Death is my great grandmother as she lay in a coffin. As a child no more than 5, I felt guilty thinking I had shortened her life when I made her angry. I know better now. Still, there are times I missed the little thumps my tiny fist made when I pounded her back whenever she asked me to massage her. And giggling with my cousin at her gross burps. By some obscure and unexplainable child's intuition, I knew she loved me deeply.

Death is my grandfather as he lay wasted from stroke and infection from a gangrenous infection. When he became half the man he was, literally as his left side lay limp and figuratively as he seem to give up the fight then. He loved me dearly because I could carry his name and I shunned him when he gave up the fight. A part of me grew frightened by what had become of him and another grew revolted that he gave up. I didn't visit him nor see him for over 3 years. I didn't want to see what disease could do to a man in health and in spirit. It all but squashed the tiny voice who so often asked that I empathised and tried to understand the suffering he went through. If I had gone as my father did in those 3 years to see him, would I have brought him more light? My father did his duty and I didn't. It will haunt me for this lifetime. Because when it finally mattered, I was at McDonalds when I could have gone to his bedside earlier. It is my reminder that death does not keep time.

Death is my granduncle as I held his hand and watch the last of his wheezing gasps...waiting for the inevitable. From the hale and the hearty to the skeletal being on a thin mattress. Counting the breaths now...how many more can he draw? Dignity restored as he lay in his home and not in some cold hospital bed. Thanks for the memories; of you sweeping the tables clean in CNY Blackjack or working tirelessly at your goreng pisang stall deftly slicing the bananas and sweet potatoes, dipping them in flour and drying them to their crisp golden hues.

Death is not the 16 yr old girl who collapsed suddenly on the track in VJC because of a brain aneurysm.

Death is not the bright, cheerful dude who rode my bicycle and then flew over the drunk driver's maroon honda civic.

Nor is death the ex-VS TAF club soccer mate who rode his African Twin round the corner for the last time.

Death is not the friend who plunge into darkness and over the parapet of her HDB flat.

Death is not she with the radiant smile and the newlywed glow whose light was so cruelly snuffed by a most disturbing twist of events.

Death is not me. Not yet. Not when the taxi moved suddenly at the traffic junction and into the path of my oncoming car. Surreal...I could see and feel the impact even before it happened. Heart pounding as I pushed the brakes as far as I could. Faint throbbing as the ABS kicked in...allowing my car to turn at the last minute without skidding. Inches apart from the white merc cab in front. Heart pounding. Guilty for turning the car to the right and placing her in harm's way but that seemed the best course because to the left was a kerb and an embankment. Or was it a reflex to move myself away from danger? Guilt-torn. Heart pounding. It sounds like wardrums in my ears. I know my blood is racing. I want to get down and beat the driver and lash out at him. But I am frozen. The drums beat on in my ears. Still frozen. I am very scared. She is surprisingly calm. Never ceases to amaze me how calm she can be sometimes. We drive on. Shaken but alive. Thank you.

By my own admission, I have led the charmed life. I was bubbly and happy, good-natured and cheerful, crazy and loving life. I lived in a bubble that only the old passed away and the young lived to be old. I have had healthy relatives and friends. Death never came to the young around me. Death's gentle scarring only begin when I was 17 and in JC.

In JC, I learnt that some of my friends don't have two living parents like me. It humiliated and humbled me, that I had been to proud and arrogant to look closely at others around me.

Still in JC, death lashed out and stung me when a younger school mate was taken so swiftly. It made me question my mortality. Death felt very cold then.

In the 2nd year of NS I lost my grandfather. He lived past 75. Death felt like a release for him, for us, for me.

In university, an ex-VS soccer buddy didn't survive riding around a bend when a taxi came. Then a new found cycling friend, by a strange but compelling sequence of events, never did cycle back to the BBQ we planned that day. And most incomprehensible of all, the sweet-gentle project mate, months from graduation who felt the means to an end meant going over. What darkness ravaged her mind, we never knew.

Of late, just 2 weeks prior - the surreal and shocking passing of an ex-schoolmate in a brutal and senseless wave of terror. To have seen and spoken to her just a month ago, knowing she is happily married and successful in her career, only makes everything seem so crazy, unjust, cruel and jars every fibre of my being.

Of late, I spend some minutes perusing the orbituaries. I don't know what I am looking for actually. I only catch myself after I have started perusing. It's one of those activities you used to look at your parents do and wonder why they do such a morbid thing as to stare at dead people's photographs. I chuckle when I do it...but I also face a certain dread. Hoping it is not a face I will recognise.

With each passing death I encounter, I feel more scarred. Each one seems to weigh my heart down a little longer. And as I look back and what could have happened just tonight, when the merc cab suddenly came into my path. It makes me wonder...

"What would it be like at my passing?"

Here goes...

1. My organs - take them ALL. Save for the faulty heart. keke...it murmurs. Dun leave the corneas especially...I dun need them anymore. Just dress me in a nice suit or tux. (much as I love my tees and berms...I wanna go in style)

2. Mahjong - there better be 3 tables and more!

3. Food - its gotta have the best curry chicken served with prata. best cheng tng. roast pork and suckling pig if budget permits. jus get all the damn good food. Everybody should eat well.

4. Most importantly CELEBRATE!

- remember me for my life...and not for my passing. Make noise! Drink and be merry!

(Yes...beer and alcohol should be served...if budget permits. Please dun drink and drive though.)

- Don't come in black. Come dressed to party, to revel.

- Must play music. No slow slow stuff. Rock and upbeat Jazz.

5. And when they finally cremate...must have some indie rock song or slow rock song playing. U2, Coldplay, Travis, Train, Killers, Jets, Maroon 5, Radiohead, REM...etc etc. (Please avoid bubblegum pop like Britney or boybands) Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance...tolerable.

6. Scatter the ashes to sea.

Somewhere where there is only blue water and clear horizons. It is too claustrophoic in an urn. I want to feel the vastness of space at sea, the warm glow of the setting sun or the majestic nature of its early rise...the kind of feeling you get when you spend idyllic days staring out to sea. I want to be under rolling clouds that change hues and let the waves carry me to places I've never seen.

My experience with death is obviously not complete and the last page should be quite an interesting read. A friend recently told me about his friend who was in a coma after a traffic accident. As he lay comatose in bed, he remembered seeing a black figure who asked him,"Do you want to come with me?" and he replied,"NO". I wonder if such a moment will ever come to me and if I would have the guts and the audacity to stave death.

"Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

- Dylan Thomas

United Colours of Singapore

2008-01-13T18:26:00.000+08:00

I have no intention of disrespecting or infringing upon copyrights, so I will just state from the offset that the title of this posting is a clear plagiarizing of the popular UK brand "United Colours of Benetton".

So the reason for this was that a popular image from one of UCB's old advertisements sprang to my mind this weekend. I was invited to the Youth Olympic Games Seminar held at Suntec on Saturday, 12th January. Along with 8 upper primary students and the principal, we spent the morning listening to how Singapore was making their bid for the YOG and how if we succeeded in the bid, our schools could benefit from the exchange of youths. As usual...a lot of "hoo ha" and money (3 SUNTEC convention halls and refreshments for everyone!) spent to inform the masses how great the event will be...kinda becoming the Singapore norm of things.

On a critical front, I just like the part where they stated outright that "Olympic Education" is going to be part of the syllabus in the future. Basically it's a key idea that it's not enough to just be the best in something or to borrow the olympic motto "Citius, Altius, Fortius" (swifter, higher, stronger). So while beating your opponent seems the more obvious goal, I think the true meaning of olympism is in the sportsmanship, the triumph of human spirit, the transcendence of differences and to extol the best in humanity*.

* Btw..."Celebrate Humanity" was the creed of the Sydney 2000 olympics. You can find the website at http://multimedia.olympic.org/pdf/en_report_252.pdf . Its a good read.

Watch the video (about 6min) below as well...truly inspirational. Watch till the end for "Adversary"

You are my adversary, but you are not my enemy.
For your resistance gives me strength.
Your will gives me courage.
Your spirit ennobles me.
And though I aim to defeat you, should I succeed, I will not humiliate you.
Instead, I will honour you.
For without you, I am a lesser man.
— “Opponent”, from Celebrate Humanity

That's olympism for you. I guess we have been teaching our kids about it for a while now...just didn't label it and say it was Olympic Education. but now that its somewhat formalised...I'm happy we are taking these steps.

Not to say that everything is good. The inevitable commercialism of both sports and the atheletes by branding and media is something we could avoid. Too often we hear of atheletes (esp footballers!) who make moves or turn away their loyalty in order to secure a better paycheck. The issue of Singapore hiring foreign talents, making them our citizens in orde to take part successfully in international competitions is highly debatable and would probably warrant anotherpost. Some othe stuff we could avoid are the drug scandals or the allegations of dubious judging.

All in all...olympic education and olympism is still a good aspect of education. Come on...dun be too skeptical alright? Let's stay focussed on the positive...ya?

Ohmygosh! I digress too much...back to the original point about United Colours of Singapore.

So basically I got to see many students from the other Primarys, Secondarys and JCs. I was pleasantly surprised at the cultural mix we have nowadays. Seated next to me was an Australian, a few rows behind, there was clearly a girl of African descent (judging by the complexion and dreadlocks)... all around I could see in the kaleidoscope of Singaporean faces, features that were clearly not Singaporean. And then I was reminded of that United Colours of Benetton ad...

I think you know what I mean.

The thing was...I felt really happy about it! I like the fact that we are welcoming these people to our lands. We are after all...a land of migrants...except for the descendents of the tiny fishing village that Raffles came upon. By and large...we came from China, India, Indonesia...etc etc. There is Portugese and Dutch influence in the Eurasian community.

So I was happy that these students and their families have decided to settle here. I hope that Singapore will become their permanent home.

I just believe that the hodge-podge, "rojak" nature of our culture should be celebrated. It's great that our children can learn to appreciate so many cultures here in Singapore. In my school... we have Bulgarians, Koreans, Mongolians, Filipinos, PRCs, Taiwanese, Indonesians, Malaysians, Thais, Vietnamese and we recently added a Canadian girl.*

* not coping too well at the moment because things are more structured here than in Canada

So looking at these kids...I was happy that we could come together as one. That Singapore is really turning out to be a global city. Whether it was push or pull factors that drew their parents here...I shan't bother. I was just happy and excited at the possibilities our little garden city could become. In a world that's grown increasingly smaller because of globalisation and yet increasingly colder. Its always nice to see little pockets of positive change happening.

The skeptic and depressed critic in me would probably say that more cultures in Singapore doesn't necessary mean that they would mix well together. After all...the government does go a long way to making sure that racism will not thrive here. Recent reports however do suggest that segregations of groups do occur as well. Eg...the case of Indians from India being haughty to our local indian lads. (A case of my curry is more spicy than your curry...perhaps) Raffles town plan is a brilliant case study of how Singaporeans were first divided based on communities.
I suppose it is only natural that migrant communities want a sense of belonging wherever they uproot to.

There is also a clear struggle for identity here in Singapore. A young nation of migrants just cannot make up its mind on what we are really. Have you seen the latest national costumes paraded by our ladies in Ms Universe/World/LalaLand? Frankly we don't have one. It just changes year on year according to whoever designs them. And it is usually a mish-mash of chinese fabric/design with malay design/fabric infused with indian fabric/design and a dash of eurasian fabric/design. Thats our national costume...they call it the "Eurochindianlay". We clearly struggle with who we are. It doesn't help if more folks are moving in too...right?

But let's give it time.

Given time I just hope they begin to feel more Singaporean. I hope these kids get the best of opportunities and the most enlightened of teachers. Teachers who will like me...proudly proclaim... I am Singaporean first and foremost, chinese second. Even then...I also not sure how much of a Chinese I am. My mum is a straits-born peranankan, my dad is teo chew. I have struggled with the Chinese language all my life. I have no links to China or Taiwan. Not even Malaysia. All my relatives are here. As deep as Singapore is...my roots have sunk deeper. I will remain ever proud of my country as my country is proud of me.

I celebrate Singapore for the fact that...
...the Churches, Temples and Mosques here can stand side by side without issue.
...we have a rich variety of food available. (have you seen the mind boggling array at any big shopping centre in town?)
...we can stand shoulder to shoulder and not feel any animosity just because you are different from me.
...it's got a DAMN GOOD pledge.

I am Singaporean. Stand with me. We can only get better.

So I made this promise...and I'd stand by it.

2008-01-07T17:15:00.000+08:00

I had dessert with Candy and Sonya the other day.

Candy and Sonya are like cream and sugar you put in coffee to take away all the bitterness. They have seen the best of me and the worst of me. And we get along swell.

So anyways...something we talked about made me recall a promise I made myself in 2005.

In March 2005...just 2 months away from our graduation as teachers. An ex-projectmate of mine committed suicide. I will not speculate on its exact details. There were many factors involved I believed. But the timing was just so wrong. We were in our second practicum, if she had hung on for a month or two longer, she would have graduated and moved on from NIE.
Was it stress? She passed away on the day she was due for a class lesson supervision. Was it depression? Apparently she had been under medication for a while now. What it was, we will never know.

What I do know...was I felt this utter shock when I heard the news. And then there was this sick creeping sensation in my gut. You start wondering if maybe the signs were there all along. I always knew her as someone with a bubbly and happy personality. A pleasant smile to greet you in the mornings. We won't terribly close...just the one project that one time. But enough to always greet each other with warmth and a smile in the mornings. Enough to know each other's names in the lift and to exchange pleasantries or small talk when we bump into each other. Enough to have each other's numbers saved in our handphones, knowing we might need each other's help someday.

I sat alone the day she left and just wished she could have called me.

I don't know why I felt that way. I just did.

Hope springs eternal for me. Committing suicide...is the end of all hope. It is the deepest isolation of despair. There is no redemption once you are beyond the point of suicide.
What makes a person despair so much that she should choose to end a beautiful life?
What rages on in the mind or the heart to cause such utter hopelessness?

I only wished I could have been there for her. Just to tell her that it is not so bad. That if nobody would believe in her or stand by her...I could and I would. That all is not lost...if we could just think of what we can do tomorrow. That hope...lives...no matter what, no matter where.

Perhaps a bumbling fool like me, wouldn't have helped much. But I knew what I felt. If I had the chance to talk to her...I could show her the hope inside of me. I don't harbour hopes that I could have saved her. I just wished I could have done a little more.

That night I promised myself that if I ever knew a friend or an acquaintance or just about anyone who was ever in this state of despair. I would be there to stand by him or her. In deed or in word, just call and I will be there.

You didn't have to go this way.
Pretty smile no more.
What was it you couldn't say?
I remembered you.
If you only knew,
The words I could have told.
Not that I could be salvation.
Maybe all you needed was balm.
Hope springs eternal,
You're a lily thats floated on.
Perhaps peace is downstream.

In remembrance... Rest well.

"The World is my oyster"...so they say...

2008-01-06T12:35:00.000+08:00

I read a friend's (Sophia) blog recently. She's doing well...and travelling quite a fair bit since she joined the oil rigging industry. It's really a job I admire since my dad was an oil-rigger and used to fascinate me with all his stories about the many places he has been too. You just have to imagine a little chubby kid hearing about the midnight sun in Alaska or deep sea fishing from the pontoons of an Oil Rig to understand how amazing these little stories were to me.

Anyway, fate doesn't play the same hand to sons as to fathers. I didn't take an engineering degree nor did I end up in the navy, which is what I probably would have done if my heart murmur was not an issue with MINDEF.

But I must say I still love travelling and experiencing different things. Sophia's compiled a list of places she has been to. So I thought it would be interesting if I spent a few minutes thinking and writing down the places that I have been to. Kinda like a country stocktake. =)

Let's see...gotta start from the ones I remember when I was young.

Pre 1990s - Genting / Penang / Phuket / Cameron Highlands / Indonesia
~ I can't remember much for this period.

1993 - Chiang Mai and Bangkok, Thailand
~ Paid some distant relatives of mine a visit, together with my family and my grandpa. Unforgettable 10 hour journey in a cramped Mini-van.

1995 - Sabah, Outward Bound Sabah and Mount Kinabalu Expedition
~ This was a most memorable one. First trip without parents, first overseas hiking adventure. This trip started my love for the outdoors. That quesy feeling in the face of nature, knowing that you are minutely insignificant in the grander scheme of things and yet, also knowing that somehow you are a part of everything unfolding around you, even if you don't know it all.

1996 - Didn't travel in the year I had my O-levels. Spent a lot of time studying in the little nooks and crannies at the Changi Airport Terminal 2 Viewing Gallery though. I actually finished the A-maths and Physics Ten Year Series here.

1998 - Tasmania / Australia
~ Another most memorable one. This was after the A-levels...and before my enlistment. Got a couple of mates together...Kie Hian, Wee Keat, Shang Wei, Mark, Fang Fang and this other lady (OMG...forgot her name!) Flew all the way to Melbourne...and then took the 1-day ferry to Tasmania. Sent 6 days in the bush...Cradle Mountain and Lake St Clair National Park.

2000 - Pulau Aur and Dayang / Malaysia
~ My diving open water certificate. First time diving out in the open sea. AMAZING adventure.

2001 - Mount Ophir / Malaysia
~ First time recce-ing and subsequently leading an expedition of at-risk youths. This expedition opened me to the possibility of being a trip leader.

2001 - Vietnam-Cambodia-Thailand Overland trip
~ This trip was the backpackers dream. I still don't really know how I managed to crammed it all within 22 days. Great company...Wee Keat, Guopei, Wan and Cheryl. Everything just went well together.

2001~2005 - Pelepah/Belumut/Panti/Berkelah/Ophir/Titiwangsa/Jerangkang/Kinabalu (Malaysia) / Khao Sok (Thailand) / Hawaii (USA) / Britain / Scotland / Spain
~ Did quite a fair bit of hiking and leading of trips in my uni days. Visited my sis in Hawaii. And did a Europe tour as well.

2006 - Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam
~ Did a vacation with the missus right smack in the middle of the World Cup. I learnt my lesson...never travel during world cup. Hahaha!

2007 - Kinabalu / Fukuoka, Japan
~ 3rd time up this mountain I have fallen in love with. This time with another amazing bunch. Red, Ronny, Lining and Huiwen.
Was sponsored a trip to Japan in Dec 2007 as well. Fabulous country...just immaculate.

Ok...dunno what 2008 brings. What ever will be will be.
I haven't actually felt like travelling for a long time already. Dun have any dream destinations.

Adieu

"Singapore is a gracious society"...ya right.

2008-01-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

This December I was rather fortunate to earn an all expense paid trip to Japan. I spent 4 wonderful days in a beautiful country with very gracious hosts. Basically we were a select group of school officials and teachers who were sponsored by the Fukuoka Tourism Board to visit the Fukuoka District in Japan. It was quite an experience because I was treated like a VIP for most of the trip. Everything was catered for. No worries watsoever.

Delicious food, fascinating toilets, beautiful scenery and amazing sights...pity I had to contend with my very Singaporean counterparts though.

That said...I know one apple shouldn't spoil the whole basket. And in general, the travelling companions I had were for the most parts, nice and cordial. However...one unpleasant incident will remain etched in my head. Kinda sickens my stomach whenever I think of it actually.

But here goes...

On the 2nd day of the trip, we were scheduled bright and early to visit a Persimmon fruit farm. According to our guides, the farm had already been harvested, but on the request of the Fukuoka Tourism Board, a little plot of just over 15 trees were left for us to experience some fruit picking. Japanese Persimmon are renowned for their sweetness, texture and near perfect symmetry. A small one easily sells in the market for 300Yen (SGD3.90). The near perfect ones in excellent shape and size retails for 1000Yen(SGD13.00) or more. They make for excellent gifts and the Japanese pride themselves for their ability to produce these sweet succulent honeyed fruits.

In any case...if you were told of a persimmon fruit picking experience in Japan, how many of these persimmons would you pick? The guide tells you that you can buy a box for 200Yen(SGD2.60) to keep the persimmons in. So how many would you pick?

Here's what I figured...probaby get 4 or 5...depending on how big the box is. Maybe a dozen? Cause that's what you usually get in a box. A dozen.

Picking time...and off we went on little ladders with clippers to snipped those nice persimmons. Our hosts were great, showing us around, even slicing a few persimmons for us to sample. I snipped about 12 for myself, and another 12 for my colleague who was helping me with the picking basket...and then another 12 for another lady who didn't want to do all that much climbing. Quite a fun way to start the morning really.

Back to the packing station...and I had the absolute shocker of the trip!

Here I was blessedly happy with my 12 nice persimmons...thinking how I would probably eat some and give the rest away to my grandma and other relatives. And how many did some of my travelling companions pick?

40!

A big fat 4-0...forty. And that's by my conservative estimate. Some clearly had 50-60.
I was just disgusted by the behaviour and attitude.
I know I should not judge...and I also know our Japanese hosts did not mind a single bit. They went about happily serving us Persimmon slices and even persimmon soda which kinda tasted like the old "FANTA" drinks.
But its the whole principle behind it you know...like...JUST BECAUSE IT'S FREE, WE MUST TAKE MORE!

It's sickening. And the offenders included a HOD and a Dean of Dept in a polytechnic.
What sort of education are we giving are children...if our educators are like that.
We are no longer a developing country. We are Singapore...we've come a long way from our survivalist days in the 60s to the industrialised drive in the 70s and 80s. I'm proud of Singapore and it's growth and how far we've come. Surely our behaviour and attitudes must change as well. All this "kia-su"(scared to lose or be last) and "kia-see"(scared to die) has got to give way to more graciousness.

It sickens my gut.

Singapore is a clean city...but it's not the Singaporeans who do it.
Day in day out...I see parents who litter in front of their kids. The other day, this fat bitch of a woman, while loading her child into a very luxurious SUV...nonchalantly threw a plastic bag on the floor. I felt ashamed actually...cause I didn't work up the courage to just walk over to her and say "Auntie, you left this on the floor. Think you 'forgot'. "

I'm not saying I am a saint. I have my share of flaws. But I know I've always doen what I could on my own accord to keep Singapore clean. It's not hard to just place rubbish in your pocket and throw it away at the nearest bin. THERE ARE SO MANY BINS IN SINGAPORE! There's barely a bin in sight in Japan...and the country is CLEAN! Go figure...its all in the attitude.

In 2008...I just hope I have the courage to confront these folks I see...who just flick their litter on the floor.

I did it.

2007-12-03T08:23:00.000+08:00

7:59:55

That was the time taken off my watch. Will have to wait for the official confirmation from the organisers to know my actual time.

But...yes. I did it...all 42.195 km of it.

It's great to have done something I have always thought of doing...but also always putting off to "next year la".

I have mixed feelings about this marathon though. I'm glad I finished what I started. At certain points, it really seemed so easy to hop on the bus or just stop and give it all up.
But at the same time...I kinda wished I had better preparation. Could have trained more so I didn't have to walk so much. Its a marathon...not a walkathon!

But I think I will just savour this little accomplishment first. That I did something I've always thought was a meaningful challenge that had to be accomplished once in a lifetime.

I think it must be that diet of Braveheart and Gladiator movies...where they keep asking you : "Someday when you are old and lying in bed, what can you tell your grandchildren about the things you accomplished in this life?"

I'm not exactly looking for a legacy...and I don't intend to forge an empire. But I know now that I have another story to share with my grandkids...

How this grandpa shuddered with hunger at the 39km mark when he saw and smelt the food being eaten by the marathon marshals and how he almost lunged forward to grab the fried chicken pieces from their lunch boxes. (My last meal was at 330am...and that was near 1pm!)

How walking around the 30-40km stretch was like a funeral procession cause everybody was so quiet and yet you could hear each silent scream and protest as we kept on pushing ourselves to the next painful step.

How some people can really dress up for 42.195km...do they do the marathon at orchard road too?

How inspirational the older uncles and aunties IN FRONT OF ME were...I salute you. I hope at your age...I too can still do a marathon.

How I met this uncle and he reminded me of myself, doing the marathon for the first time and telling me he's "just gotta do this before he's too old for it"

Well...I could go on i guess. Not exactly the runner's perspective of the marathon. Just your average joe.

I'm done. I did it. And for the next few days...I will carry a smile, knowing I've accomplished something special in my life.

PS: At this point in time, I'm debating if I should put myself through this torture again...next year. Hmmm...

Coming full circle

2007-08-21T09:01:00.000+08:00

It's funny how some things seem to come back to you. Full circle...
Inane happenings or a curious chain of events or an innocuous purchase...

Last night I went out looking for a cheap watch. Needed one to do the Army Half Marathon 21km. I have a timex, but the strap broke and it will take a week to replace according to the agent I called. My other watches are either too new or not suitable to the rigours of a hot, sweaty run.

So off I went to Mustafa - that amazing provision mama-shop gone wrong. I had a CASIO in mind...one of those "Terrorist-bomb" models. It's cheap, has a stop watch function and is often used by terrorist to fashion bombs. Hence the moniker...ha!

Lo and behold...look what I found for $15! (amazingly cheap Jap tech)

A sweet uber-retro Casio with Time, alarm and Stop-watch. Water resistant no less.

You gotta hand it to the guys at CASIO. They've got a way of making everything function for real value. Nowadays, its not so fashionable...maybe some of the G-shock range.

What's this thing about coming full circle? Well...if memory serves me well. This was like my first watch when I was 8-9 years old. I guess I was a tad nolstagic when I saw it last night.

Yup. Brings me back to when I was a 'wee' chap. And now I hope it will serve me well...as that cheap stopwatch I can totally trash for my runs.

The runs are still on track. This sunday...its the Singapore Bay Run...21km!
Flagging off at 530am. I hope to complete under 3hours. Best timing should be 2hr 45min.

Here's the route:-

Wish me luck folks. Think if you come at 830...can see me cross the line...hahaha.

I promise I will not collapse and start rolling across it...
Must cross with style...

Staying the course...

2007-08-13T17:46:00.000+08:00

It hasn't been easy...but at least there are the runs.

I'm quite comfortable doing a 20km now...with the help of some buddies...its been a nice way to spend a Saturday morning.

Weight hasn't been going down...and neiter is the body looking any better. HAHAHA!

But still I've done what I once thought was impossible.

I signed up for the Army Half Marathon 21km...and the Standard Chartered Full Marathon 42.195km.

God...what have I gotten myself into.
I do a nice and slow 20km in about 3hours.
I'll probably finish the marathon in 7 hours.
OMG OMG OMG OMG...

The WALL

2007-01-15T01:18:00.000+08:00

I've tried hard to stay the course.
Last weekend was a 6km undulating run at Macritchie and this weekend was another 6km at Pierce...complete with slopes.
In between, I had a gym session on Thursday.
So I need more gym work...and at least a weekday run. Trying hard to fit it all in.

What I found out though was pretty rough...
My gym work is horrible...weights I could do before...leave me cramping now. I had to rather embarassingly shift to lower weights. No running from the truth...so I decided to start small again...and build my way up. Trying to be careful also...cause I dun want to end up looking montrous. If you overload and build wrongly...it happens. I see it all the time...huge clunky guys with scary improportionate lumps.

Did some lunges and realised I had knee joint pains...so i gotta work the legs or I might not survive the 42km. Might try some glucosamine too. A fren's mum very kindly decided to donate me her supply of pills. Heard from another friend that the topical gel is also quite good. I gotta take care of me knees...

As for the runs...I hit the "wall" on each occassion. I can't explain it.
I'd be running and then suddenly I feel really light headed...
The lightheadedness washes over me...from head to toes...and next thing I know... everything just shuts down. Brain doesn't want to run...and body just becomes damn sluggish.

*some folks are concerned that I might be pushing myself too hard. I assure you, I haven't really pushed yet. Dat said...I also have a heart specialist appointment on Wednesday 17 January at SGH. Doing an echo cardiogram and ultrasound to determine if everything is ok...considering my heart murmur and all. Will reveal results.

I'm trying to understand this. Perhaps its from lack of prolonged distance running. (I seldom run pass 5km) In any case, each time I resolve to overcome it. Usually need to walk a bit and then slowly psyche myself up to run again. I figure its something "mental"...because somehow I know my lungs and legs can still continue. Its jus this "wall" I got.

Ok...looking to join a first race soon. Jus for the fun of it.

Bak bak sprained her ankle badly. No exercise for 3 weeks. Poor thing...

Things to look forward to in 2007 - RUN!

2007-01-03T02:03:00.000+08:00

There are some things you know you just have got to do once in your life.
Me...I have a little list... (which can easily grow into a big list)

1. Bungee Jumping
2. SCUBA diving with a Great White Shark / Whale Shark / Dolphins...
3. Standing in the shadow of the Grand Canyon
4. Nepal / Tibet tour
5. A full marathon.

A full marathon...all 42.195km of it.

A long time ago, I promised myself that I'd attempt it at least once in my life. i wanted to do it last year...but procrastination set in and took rot.

2007 seems a fine year to give it a whopping KICKSTART.

I'm getting a little help from a cousin and his running group. So I'm looking forward to this. I dun care how long it would take me to do it. But I will not give up till its done.

See you at the finishing line. I hope you'll be there to cheer me on.

For further inspiration...look at the video below.

I'm only planning to run 1 marathon in 2007.

As of June 2005, Team Hoyt had participated in a total of 911 events, including 206 Triathlons (6 of which were Ironman competitions), 20 Duathlons, and 64 Marathons, including 24 consecutive Boston Marathons. They also biked and ran across the USA in 1992 — a 3,735 mile journey that took them 45 days.
When asked what one thing Rick wished he could give his father, his reply was "The thing I'd most like is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once."
(thanks to wikipedia)

Dick Hoyt is 65. His son Rick is 44.
Son cannot race without father, and the father will not race without Son.

It is an amazing feat, not just a physical, mental exertion, but it tells of a father-son bond that is so inspiring. The first time I watched the video, my eyes teared.

If they can do it...so can I.

Trying again...

2007-01-03T00:16:00.000+08:00

I was never one to make new year's resolutions. I'd try...and I'd fail.
There would be stuff I wanted to do or change...and I'd get them done, or that'd be stuff I couldn't accomplish for reasons whatsoever. The funniest and most interesting bits are doing stuff you never knew you would be doing at the start of the year. As for the unaccomplished tasks, I would disappoint myself in failing to meet my own expectations. It's a horrible feeling. And after a few years of trying...I gave up altogether on resolutions.

So...I give up on expectations...and instead go about life with a "Take-it-as-it-comes" attitude. I choose my feelings as I live the year. I'm happy...I am sad. There is no expectation of what the year ahead will be. It kinda makes me ready for anything that happens. And its rather exciting...kinda like living on the edge.

Frankly, its also double-edge. Because there is this inherent lack of structure. Or a lack of motivation to do something meaningful. (the counter argument is that I keep finding meaning in a lot of stuff I do anyways!...but that's for another day of musing)

I've been thinking a lot. And I realise...I gotta start planning somehow. To maybe try again...and start with new perspectives or just "refresh" the page...you know. After a while...I start feeling aimless...and it scares me to the bone. It really does.

Having a blog makes it interesting as well. I could post it up...and review it as the year goes by. There's also the pressure from YOU, the avid reader, friend and relative, who will probably see this...and start making fun of me. And I will have to take it in my stride...because I wanted to share this in the first place. In the end...YOU'd probably help me achieve what I wanted to...by encouragement or taunt. Heh heh.

I won't call them RESOLUTIONS. Cause resolution sounds "resolute", like I couldn't review and modify if necessary. Instead...I present in a series of blog posts...

"THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2007"

Stay tuned...

Many many moons ago...

2006-08-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

I suppose the title is a tribute to the many moons I've shared with all the ODACians who have ever slept under the stars with me. In a way, this blog is a memory - One which is slowly fading, though I try hard not to let it go so softly into the night. I tell myself some things you never can forget, and yet as the years roll by, you realise you do lose it bit by bit.

I begin this entry at year one. I can't say if I could write all the way to year three but at least I'll leave everyone with the beginning.

Year One remains special, unique and unforgettable. I dunno why. Maybe things were a lot simpler than...or we were simpler? Everything seemed possible and we jus had to reach out for the stars in order to get them. Who were we? We were the ODAC 6th Family.

Here we are at a time when digital cameras were very expensive and this was a shot taken off Chie Fong's trusty NIKON F70. Yah...you had to develop photos then. After that you had to SCAN them. And its kinda how I have this really treasured photograph.

I know almost 90% of the people in this photo...until today...I can still recall their names and faces. I guess the picture spoke of a simpler time or maybe I was just more friendly. In any case it was pretty awesome then. Looking back it still remains a special moment in time.

People were genuinely happy. Happy to be with each other...happy to just sit and talk kok. We spent countless hours at publicity booths, or crazy nights doing publicity banners...or having BBQs and getting drunk sometimes.

And one night...they almost "killed" me with a birthday celebration. Had it all rigged...there was flour, soya sauce, chili and eggs.

It was wierd. We sang when we never needed to. We joked, cursed and sang some more. There were oddball chracters... Spidey, Horny, Jedi, Kedi, Cells, Spacegirl, Goldfish, Ah Sam, Fong-Jie, Bimbo, Auntie Peggy, ODAC Poster Boy, Xunster, Kokster, Maria, ZZ, ET... just to name a few.

And we had fun. Whether it was hiking or helping ZZ clean and keep the tents. Some how we were there for each other. Through dreary nights with Joyce thinking of the next day's publicity(!) or just sprouting nonsense with Spacegirl Wenz while doing booth duty. I remember these moments most.

We had a most lovely campfire I remembered. A most unforgettable "Wah-Liew" script and the most talented "praying mantis" dance this side of the hemisphere.

Chemistry I suppose. Magic.

Last but not least...I also had a most memorable Berkelah Trip which sealed my fate with ODAC. The first trip I led together with a lovely lady called Lining. That first incredible sight of the 30m high waterfall...of nature's glory...and I knew I was hooked. But more importantly. I came to see the beauty of human relationship...one without the distraction of handphones, books or our everyday worries. We were out in the woods. And all we had was really one another.

That special trip...is fondly remembered for its clear skies and bright blessed day. And also for the people who came with me and shared a night and a few meals. Thank you Lining, Peggy, Zong Yao, Kah Boon, Pierre, Shun Yong, Wee Keat, Zoey, HongFu, Jeffery, Daniel, Sam, Jerry, Meei Ting, Ves, Jess and Li Shan...few others who I can't remember. I really did treasure this trip. It was most amazing with you guys.

There were many more.

Belumut...also with Lining. Another amazing bunch, another amazing mountain.

I have had more trips and many more experiences. I'll end here for now. Will come back to add more to this post.

Many more people who I would really love to see again...just to remember a time many, many moons ago...when we shared a cup of milo under a starlit patch of sky. And everything in the world seemed at peace.

...a part of you has touched me deep...and it lingers on in my heart. May our paths cross again someday.

Good night and god speed.

Emptiness

2006-08-11T02:07:00.000+08:00

Feeling empty.

My boo and my ride...

2006-07-04T02:59:00.000+08:00

Feeling all cramped in the head and jus wanted to write something...or rather express something to the world...via my blog. (amazing fella hasn't died even though I've not blogged in it for over a year) It's a sign...I shud blog more.

Here are some pics of my boo...once self-proclaimed parasite of mine.
Hence forth affectionately known as "bak bak". On this day 4th July...America Independence Day...I proclaim her... "Bak Bak"

Just me and my boo..."bak bak"

More "unflattering" pics of the most glamourous couple in Singapore. Hiak hiak!

Cannot show the pretty pictures...otherwise I get the inevitable "How come a guy like him can be so lucky get a girl like her?" Yah...fat ol' tubby me met a nice pretty girl. Thank you...the world seeks balance and all is fair. If not...LOVE IS BLIND...ok?!! You happy now?

Well...now that we got the "boo" out of the way, time to present "THE RIDE"!!!

That's right folks...I present to you the very sexy "Ashley". 4 wheels, 5 gears, 1.5L VVT...a very spunky 2005 SUZUKI Swift! Ta da!

1 year and I've already clocked 25,000km! Whoo whee...

Ashley...cause she's a very cool Azure Grey. Fell in love with the colour, the moment I saw it.

There you go. "My Boo and My Ride"

24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks, 1 year...and its all measured in the blink of an eye.

2006-06-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

Considering my last post was in May 2005...I dare say I'm qualified to talk about time passing in blinks.

1 blink...and its the white-washed PAP kindergarten at Lorong Ah Soo. That lightning logo up on wall...just looked so darn cool then. My very caring and pretty teacher. How I would love to see her once again. 30cents ice cream...you know it's out there in that little motobike...can't wait for the bell to ring. (sorry...I cannot remember beyond my kindergarten. So dun expect me to start about me swimming with the other 2/3 million little tadpoles)

2 blinks...its Rosyth Primary and I'm opening doors for teachers and greeting them. Yup, some disciplinary action for wayward boys like me. Works wonders. I do it to my pupils these days. A few teachers to thank; Mrs Cheong, Mrs Elaine Low, Mr Jimmy Ng...for better or for worse I am ever grateful for you guidance.

3 blinks...Nil Sine Labore. And a school that will forever shape the values and principles which govern my life. Taught me leadership and the true meaning of brotherhood; espirit de corps.

4 blinks...JC and a crazy testosterone charged time. But most memorable and best of all, a crazy eclectic bunch of friends.

5 blinks...National Service. Yes Sir! No Sir and UP YOURS SIR! Thankfully, largely uneventful sleepy days in a sleepy camp doing clerical duties. Tore a knee ligament playing basketball and good ol' Godfather Mindef took care of it for me. Got 2 months MC too...heh heh

6 blinks...NIE. Or rather NTU ODAC. Spent some time learning to be a teacher but it seems I spent more time out in nature and frying that perfect pancake.

7 blinks...here I am. One year on from teaching. And fully contemplating if this truly is a CAREER i want. The kids are worth it...the admin shitload is not.

In the space of two blog entries, I've also witnessed Liverpool win the FA Cup in yet another thrilling 3-3 final. And right now...its the WORLD CUP.

I've recently been to Ho Chi Minh and back.

And my weight is seriously unhealthy now. It used to be unhealthy...now its SERIOUSLY UNHEALTHY. Gotta do something about it soon.

I miss stupid times with stupid people doing stupid things.
All you "stupid" people reading this, you know what I mean and I miss you guys.

Cheers folks...(although this entry seems rather gloomy)

No team can play a final like Liverpool...

2005-05-26T08:10:00.000+08:00

I am writing this red and blurry eyed in school. Thankfully it is my first week in school and there are no lessons to teach. This morning I sat witness and watched what I shall call the best game of soccer I have ever seen...EVER.

It had to come down to that one team. LIVERPOOL.
There is simply no team that can play a European Cup Final like Liverpool.
All these years I have heard of their past glory from my dad and my uncles. All these years I have read in the newspapers about their European pedigree and the nights where they enthralled not only their fans but their opponents as well. All these long years that I have supported Liverpool from Ian Rush to Robbie Fowler, Peter Beardsley to Steven Gerrard, Micheal Owen to Djibril Cisse...it all culminates to this night where I watched as they fought tooth, bone and nail and staked their claim as European Champions.

It was...to quote a friend...UNBELIEVABLE. And as the TV commentators paused to allow those of us sitting riveted at home to soak in and listen to the strains of "You'll Never Walk Alone" ringing around the stadium, in celebration of such a momentous victory. I could not help but feel my skin tingle and a slight welt of tears in my eyes. What I had just experience was soccer at its epitome...at its purest, undistilled form. I knew ths morning that my deed was sealed. I will be a LIVERPOOL fan for life.

Let me digress to just explain for the benefit of the non-soccer fans who read this.

"You'll Never Walk Alone" is the official anthem of Liverpool Football Club. The fans sing it at every game that Liverpool plays and it has become synonymous with the club. The song itself is a warm and stirring tune and there are matches in Europe where the spectators have been known to sing it even though it is NOT a Liverpool game! In a sense the song, when sung by a chorus of passionate stadium spectators is a heart rendering and emotional.

The lyrics of You'll Never Walk Alone:

When you walk through a storm hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.

Very meaningful eh. I just read in the papers that the fans sang it at half time when Liverpool was losing 3-0. I believe the sung could be heard in the players dressing room. And if so...it must have touched each and every player and even the couch. To have fans such as these, who believe in you and who'll never let you walk alone...

Oh...what I would give to just be there on that magical night. Thank god for Ch 5 and Starhub cable for giving me the joy of watching my team as they came back from 3-0 down. When no one else had given them a chance. I have never seen a final like this. This match really gave us soccer at its purest...and I shall list the reasons why.

1. There were two teams who were determined to play soccer without gamesmanship. There were no diving incidents or vicious tackles. No crazy captains determined to hassle and threaten the eferee for bad decisions. A well played game between two top opponents of the game...with respect for each other.

2. Referee's decisions were spot on! Save for a few minor incidents, the referees and linesmen really got it right.

3. The fans. Oh my goodness...to hear them sing and sing. To see the fans stay the course of the game... (shame on you fellows who I heard left the pub early when you knew it was 3-0)

4. The way the game flowed...and the emotions felt during the game. It was so sad at half-time. But when the first goal came of Stevie G's head...suddenly the belief was back. And then Smicer's long range effort skidded in...and suddenly "We're BACK!" Totally unbelievable when Xavi Alonso smacked the save penalty rebound in. All around the world Liverpool fans stood as one... And when it came down to the penalties and Seginho and Pirlo missed...you just had to know. Destiny was on our side.

Hail to the new legends of Liverpool. And my deepest respect for AC Milan as well. For you played the game to the truest of you heart. If not for 6 minutes of lapses, the cup is well and truly yours. But such is the sport we call soccer... as an old legendary coach, Brian Clough puts it, "It only takes a second to score a goal."

Thank you both teams for giving us all such a wonderful 90 minutes and for reminding us all about the magic of soccer. Away from conglomerate take overs, oil rich owners, arrogant managers, managers who fight and claw one another, managers who bring the game to disrespute. Last night, both teams and their managers gave us the perfect match. True sportsmanship.

Someday I hope, I will walk on the halo-ed grounds we all call Anfield. For now Anfield's finest have taken the cup back and I will spend many days savouring this moment. This is the stuff of legends...a cup final that will be talked about for years and years to come. A match of truly epic proportions and a script which no two teams could ever write for a long time coming.

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE...

Of Sharks and Dinosaurs

2005-05-02T23:43:00.000+08:00

Ever since I was a young boy...I've loved sharks and dinosaurs.
I still do.

I try to say I don't know why...but maybe I do...
Allow me to write these things down...

There was a book which came out when I was about 8 or 9. It was the "Reader's Digest book of Sharks". I never got a chance to own that book...but I remember it was always the first book I browsed in the book store. I loved the photos and the description of sharks in the book...it was fascinating. I remember my other love then was Dinosaurs...and I had an uncle who gave me a book on that. Its funny how a simple book with vivid descriptions and colour illustrations of dinosaurs can do so much to stir a small boy's imagination...

I remember reading...and memorising dino facts. In my head...battles were fought between triceratops and t-rex. There was a documentary my dad taped...about dinosaurs. And I'd watch it over and over and over again. I remember it was Christopher Reeve who hosted the show... hahaha...my other idol... SUPERMAN.

But not just the prehistoric...but Sharks too. Sharks are AWESOME.
And the most AWESOME of all...you guessed it...my favourite...

THE GREAT WHITE SHARK

I think I know...it had to be JAWS the movie. Started me down this road. Thanks to Steven Spielberg...swimming never became the same again. Even on lazy saturday mornings...I did pretend there was a shark in the pool! Right...like some great white could actually survive our chlorinated public pools...not to mention god knows how many kids have peed in it...plus i dunno what else adults do in them pools....

But yeah...I remember. The ominous music...DA DUM...DA DUM...DA DUM...and it would play in my head everytime I went swimming. Even now...sometimes I hear it...and I laugh. Heh heh.

But you have to admire you know...the power in that impressive body frame...the sleek lines...the way the fin cuts the water...that massive bite...its the perfect being. Built for the kill.
I love the way it lazily swims in the water knowing it's the ultimate...and then the sudden burst of speed to surprise its opponents.

If I could be born again...I'd want to be a Great White.

Maybe I have a fascination with power...yah...my favourite dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Funny how as a young boy...I would identify myself with the biggest baddest animals...was it a latent predatory instinct in me?

As a side note...JURASSIC PARK ranks as one of the all-time best movies in my list. I remember watching it as a 14 year old...at Lido cinema. I stared mouth open...as Steven Spielberg once again cast a spell over me. To see the dinosaurs...so real...it took my breath away. The movements...so life-like. I've watched Jurassic Park close to 10 times...no thanks to Channel 5 too...who likes screening it over and over...hahaha. Oh yah...that day at Lido...a whole row of RGS girls seating in front of me...made it amusingly memorable too. You can imagine the cacophany of screams...
I think Steven Spielberg was right to make them Raptors more scary too...damn fascinating stuff...

Thank you Mr Steven Spielberg...for casting your shark, dinosaur and UFO spells over me.

A bit of psychoanalysis...
What does it say about small boys who love predators?
Favourite animals were Shark, T-rex, Tiger...
Is there a trapping towards power? Did I aim to be top dog?
Or just a morbid fascination towards what death could be like in the face of these beautiful animals....

Yes...I use the word beautiful. These predators have never been ferocious to me. To me...they were beautiful... I admire them. If I ever came face to face with any of the above...in the wild...not the zoo. I think I'd just stand and admire...and if I get eaten...man...what a way to die!

Ya...so there you have it. Of Sharks and Dinosaurs.
If anybody out there wants to buy me stuff next time...make it a shark. =)

I AM DA SUN!!! (I always knew I was hot...)

2005-04-08T01:33:00.000+08:00

I am da sun card...

Took another little quiz...thanks to da "Fangster"...who calls me her beautiful servant. Its a trade-off I guess...to be known as beautiful...I also gotta be called servant. Keke

Anyway...I just like the images provided, especially the tarot cards. So have a go at the tarot card quiz why don't you? And do let me know what card you are...

Here's my results...

You are the Sun card. The light of the Sun reveals
all. The Sun is joyful and bright, without fear
or reservation. The childish nature of the Sun
allows you to play and feel free. Exploration
can truly take place in the light of day when
nothing is hidden. The Sun's rays fill you with
energy so that you may live life to its
fullest, milking pleasure out of each day. Such
joy and energy can bring wealth and physical
pleasure. To shine in the light of day is to
have confidence, to soak up its rays is to feel
the freedom of a child. Image from: Stevee
Postman. http://www.stevee.com/

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by

I'm 25...holy-ca-moly-macaroni!!!

2005-04-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

Right...after each entry I tend to re-read...couldn't believe the amount of typos I made.
Bet I would have typos here as well...

Started changing some stuff on my blog. My age has gone up by one...

Oh my gawd...

I'm 25.

and I'm utterly lost about myself and what I wanna do...where I wanna go. I can so understand the people who run away and hide somewhere...I hear the landfill area in Singapore Pulau Semaukau is quite an idyllic place. Hahaha...maybe...

What does 25 feel like? I dunno....I seriously think I stopped growing cognitively...I think its only my stomach that keeps growing. Hahahaha....

Oh well...I really have to start work and marking. Bye.

Everybody... "be cool"

The Return of Eu-ne-ne

2005-04-08T00:19:00.000+08:00

Back to writing on this little space of mine on the big scary internet.

Stopped writing for a while cause you start evaluating if you really need a space to air or maybe it was just one of those one off fad which you joined coz it seemd fun to do at the time then you realise what the heck its already on the web why not just start using it right? Anyway regarding space to air...I believe Singapore's still got enough for me to let off air.

*poot*
(farting relieves stress and tension...let them rip!)

So ardent readers (and fans) of this blog space. Thank you for clickin' here ever so often and wondering how come eunene hasn't written like in 1000 years. Is he like waiting for some 1000 year old lingzhi to grow before he actually resumes this space?

Yeah...I must know how you guys feel. Coming here and going away empty...its like you click and then you see that stupid quiz thing I did in January. Must be a real anti-climax...

Hmm...dat said. This entry must really come as an orgasm. See...I'm the highlight of your day!

Ok...enough of sexual innuendoes. What is it with them and me anyway? Maybe I'm just your above average testosterone over-charged raging male. Yah...who in his right mind actually calls Chilli Crab dishes... "ORGASMIC CRABS"??? Nobody I know...but me.
(But seriously...there's this stall in Ang Mo Kio...they serve orgasmic crabs I tell you. Yes...damn nice...but lately damn expensive also.)

All you friends who have been dropping by to have a look at this space. I thank you. You really make it a point to stay in touch with me in your little ways. And yes, I promise I will update more often from now on. I've got lotsa stories to tell nowadays ever since I started...TEACHING.
Yes...teaching. It is a joy...and a damn exhausting one. If you ignore the over-charged raging male testosterones...I think I make a pretty decent primary school teacher.

I regret the last statement. I suddenly have a premonition of parents pulling their students out of my school tomorrow morning and leading them on a mass exodus...hahaha.

But seriously...its been a crazy mix and a rioller-coaster ride lately. Kinda been making me re-evaluate my goals and dreams too. And the newspaper's been printing so much about teaching. I'm gonna start sharing my thoughts here about my experience.

Hmmm...so I guess eunene.blogspot.com is just gonna be another teacher-blog?

NO WAY MAN! Promise I'd still write about other stuff...as cute as them kids are and as frustrating as it is to churn out lesson plans everyday...I tell myself there's gotta more to life than teaching.

Last but not least...I am seriously writing on a stream of conciousness...so if it all does not make sense, just go visit another blog ok. Singapore's most famous is xiaxue.blogspot.com

And I suppose many of you(many? haha...who am I kidding) who read this will wonder how come I seem to write with an audience in mind...like this is not a personal diary. Well...I guess its just how I am...I've always been a bit of a showman. Its also how I view this blog thing. Some see it as a diary...I see it as a place to vent...to air...to just say what I want to...within the legal and whatever OB markers them gahmen people are always talking about.

Hmmm...screw that last statement. I write what I want...and you read. Thanks hor... (bats eyelashes to look puppy-dog cute)

I just love it how I can give my readers an orgasmic high and then leave them puking at the end. Hahahaha.

Enough said. I have returned... (and here are more mis-quotes to mark this momentuos occasion)

Hell hath no fury like a teacher with tonnes of marking to do...

What I do in this blog, echoes in eternity...

ROOOOAAAAARRRRR! (T-rex from Jurassic Park)

ROOOOAAAAARRRRR! (Simba from Lion King)

Till the next 5 cents...

Another quiz...hahaha

2005-01-26T01:49:00.000+08:00

You Are the Enthusiast

7

You are outgoing and playful - always seeing the happy side to life.

You're enthusiastic and excitable. You love anything new.

Multi-talented, you do many things well... and find success easy.

You prefer to keep things light with others. Opening up is hard for you.

What number are you?

Yup...another one of them quiz things...so I can find and wonder more about myself. What is this wierd fascination about ourselves that we absolutely must know what personality we are???Then again...aren't we always changing as well? Values, perspectives, chracter, moods...

Well for the moment (or perhaps the next decade)...it seems I am a number 7...

Thanks Eunice for this above site. Yah...she also intro me to colour quiz...hahaha.

Am I a 7? Ponder...

Heart ache pangs...

2004-12-04T01:14:00.002+08:00

Ok...it bloody aches when someone's precious to me has gone away...
Kinda like a heart thugging sensation...
Heart's beating...but it feels hollow.
The air smells different...things just not the same anymore...can't explain it all but certainly can feel it.

Babe...this song's for you. I hope you can read this. And smile for me man... (yea the stupid smile) kekeke

There she goesThere she goes againRacing through my brainAnd I just can't containThis feeling that remainsThere she goesThere she goes againPulsing through my veinsAnd I just can't containThis feeling that remainsThere she goesThere she goes againRacing through my brainAnd I just can't containThis feeling that remainsThere she goesThere she goes againShe calls my name,Pulls my trainNo one else could heal my painAnd I just can't containThis feeling that remainsThere she goesThere she goes againChasing down my laneAnd I just can't containThis feeling that remainsThere she goesThere she goesThere she goes
- Sixpence None The Richer

Well...I did send her away...sorta. Sigh...
We're supposed to go on a community trip together...but it got shifted forward and there was a clash with my sister's wedding.
The wedding was awesome though...I post something on it soon. Just waiting for the pictures to be ready. And thanks Wee Keat for agreeing to be the Videographer...can't wait for the edited video to be finished.

In any case...I have a new found respect for my mum. Not dat I dun respect her any less...she is MY MUM afterall! The woman who tyranically ruled the last 24 years of my life...hahahaha. Yea...and disciplined me with flying slippers and slashing cane. I think she must have been a reincarnated pugilist swordswoman from the Ming dynasty. As I was saying...I just respect how she managed to get by when my dad had to be away months at a time cause he used to work on an oil rig. Now...I get an idea of what that feels like.

Doesn't feel good at all...

To the love of my life : Its two days more to your return. And I'm right here waiting...

I've seen the MASTER BLOGGER...

2004-11-17T04:39:00.000+08:00

As my friend Candy so tenderly terms it...
I am a "Virgin Blogger"...so new to this whole blogging experience.
and tonight she showed the mere mortal me...how divine blog beings play.

Check this blog-site out man...
http://www.xiaxue.blogspot.com/

I am truly humbled. I caught her interview on ChannelNews Asia about a day or two after setting up my blog...or was it the same day? Remembered it cause they were discussing the dangers of blogging.
Seriously...DANGERS? You mean people don't realise this is an open diary of sorts?
Just find it wierd. But maybe I'm just slightly behind this whole dot.com era.
Yeah sure...I grew up with the internet...but it didn't seem a big thing to me leh. It was just one of them new things you know.
But I realise a lot of my younger peeps are seriously wired up man...very very tech-savvy.
Me? I'm just happy to be able to change the lightbulb! Compared to people who can discuss WAP, 3G, HTML, PIXELS...I have resigned myself to being a dinosaur.

But at least in Singapore...I know PIE, CTE, AYE, KJE, BKE, SGH, NUS, NTU, NIE and most important of them all... KNNBCCB. (seldom used...but it speaks volumes sometimes)

ok...back to blogging. Just wanna say...the girl can really really write. Check her blog out...kinda amused by it too...lots of funny articles. Some Hong Kong mag even voted her best blog in Singapore. Yeah...talk about me being humbled big time.

Me? I shall just plod a long and blog a little more... And maybe someday...I might elevate myself the status of them divine blog beings. Got a few frens who are possibly there liao...like eunice and wan. I shall share their blogs when they allow me to.

Dat said. Who cares right...hahahaha. The reason I'm blogging so much lately...cause I keep distracting myself from my books. I have an exam TOMORROW. How wonderful...and this time...I seriously hugging Buddha's leg.

So in blog terms...I have seen the stars and the all mighty powers of what a blog can do. And I shall be satisfied that at the end of the day...I've also got my own little weeeeeee space on the internet to pen my thoughts... my 5 cents worth as I always say...

Until the next 5 cents then...

My mama always warned me about Instant noodles...

2004-11-16T06:05:00.000+08:00

I'm enjoying a warm warm bowl of instant noodles, Myojo Chicken Abalone Noodles, on a cold cold Tuesday morning. Dun think these qualify as breakfast though...

Myojo noodles are good...coz the noodles come in circles...I'm serious. Noodles packed in circle...taste nicer than square noodle. Somehow...they just cook better. These are my astute observations after nearly 18 years of instant Noodle experience. Don't argue with me ok.

Anyway here's a list of my preference of instant noodle brands...and my recommendations if you ever buy Singapore instant noodles...

1) Chu Qian Yi Ding Sesame flavour and Tung-Yi Chicken Abalone (its a tie)
2) Myojo Chicken Abalone
3) Myojo Ramen "Char Mee" (dry spicy noodles...throw in an egg and spinach for a perfect bowl)
4) Nissin Cup Noodle - Chicken Mushroom or Chicken (yea...when really pressed for time...esp the night before exam paper)
5) Maggi Mee (if you cannot find options 1-4)
6) Super Instant Noodle (Please NO. You only eat this if you are ever stranded on an island and by some horrible twist of fate, there are crates of these noodles washed ashore. You wonder if they really are noodles in them...or issit just SODIUM disguised as noodles.)

That said...I shall now reveal the horrible insight I received this morning while cooking the noodles. Apparently one packet of Myojo Mee contains 1890mg of SODIUM. Big deal right...1.9g of sodium only what...

Let the gods laugh...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

See...the daily SODIUM requirement of a human body is only 2500mg! Which means...one packet of Myojo Mee packs a whopping 80% of your daily sodium requirement!
Now, that is way too much sodium (let's just consider it salt) for one bowl!!!
Read more about the detrimental effects of sodium here.

Surprisingly, the same information can be gotten at the back of the Myojo Mee packet. Which leaves me to conclude that... Either a) Myojo Mee intends to run its business to the ground or worse b) Nobody really cares about nutrition labels. Judging by the roaring sales of its noodles and by my own ignorance (until today)... b) nobody cares.

My Mama was right...is that my scalp itching? I think my hair's gonna fall off!
Yikes...I think its time we all paid a little more attention to nutrition labels...

Right...so sodium occurs most in processed food...its used as a flavouring...
Somehow our tongues just love them sodium...who cares what it does to our bodies right?

Processed food...instant noodles, canned food...
And the list includes Mcdonalds!!!
Why the sudden worry about diet? Cause I just watched "Super Size Me"
Everybody who ever eats at McDonalds...should go watch "Super Size Me".
Its a documentary about a guy who goes on a 30 day McDonalds diet...
At the end of the 30 day...he has a liver that's close to collapsing, he puts on close to 30 pounds or 13kg of weight and he's blood-cholesterol is way up the roof...
I'm so off McDonalds for the month...maybe the year...hopefully forever.

That's not to say I even eat it often. I think I average two times in a month. I think that's bad enough hor... Oh my...

After all that's said and done...I've still cleared my bowl of noodles (guilty) but hey...I didn't drink the soup! (lame excuse)

Alright...for longevity's sake...here's a picture of me and my sister... standing by the "Bridge of Eternity". Can't say I didn't do my part to try to live longer...

My sister and I on the "Bridge of Eternity" (circa 1984 or 85)

I so love this photo man...its got this retro-chic look. I wonder why I look so "sullen"...?

Ok...everybody watch your sodium intake man...its scary.

READ THE NUTRITION LABELS.
And eat only fresh food. My last word of advice...

Until the next 5 cents...

What Colorquiz says about me...

2004-11-16T05:40:00.000+08:00

Took an interesting colorquiz personality test... Got it off a friend's blog. (Thanks eunice...was browsing through some of your old entries)

Its pretty accurate...amazing what colours can say about you. I think those who know me well enough will be nodding their heads to this.

Your Existing Situation
Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.

Your Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and of separation from others. Believes that life still has far more to offer and that he may miss his share of experiences if he fails to make the best use of every opportunity. He therefore pursues his objectives with a fierce intensity and commits himself deeply and readily. Feels himself to be completely competent in any field in which he engages, and can sometimes be considered by others to be interfering or meddlesome.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.
Feels that he cannot do much about his existing problems and difficulties and that he must make the best of things as they are. Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.

Your Desired Objective
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand his fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.

Your Actual Problem
The fear that he might be prevented from achieving the things he wants leads him to play his part with an urgent and hectic intensity.

Your Actual Problem #2
Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of his own efforts.

FRIENDS...

2004-11-14T05:10:00.000+08:00

There are friends...and then there are FRIENDS.

Friends who actually buy you a 3-pack of condoms...who even take the time to choose "Close Fit" for you.

Last night...I went out with Angela, Chee Kong, Eunice, Alex, Ming Yuan and her bf, Wei Liang.
I think we had a few drinks too many...although it was just coffee. But I think everybody got horny...so I think the coffee at "The Coffee Connection" - Boat Quay has got some serious dosage of aphrodisiac or something.

Here are my reasons why...

1) Alex, Eunice and Angela goes to 7-11 to buy some drinks coz we went down to the padang to have a chat after TCC closed. Amazingly one of the two girls (*ahem...the ex-somali*) actually convinces him to get a pack of condoms. Ok...so they meant it as a gift for me. But imagine Alex...stepping ever bravely forward towards the 7-11 cashier...and buying that box of "Close Fit" condoms. Then again...we think he must have been DAMN PROUD...coz he was flanked by two ladies.

Picture : Alex...grinning the way he does. Eunice to his left, Angela on his right. Money in one hand...and condoms in the other. HAHAHAHAHAHA...

So...it leaves us to conclude that the 7-11 cashier most likely would have thought "Wah...lucky BAST@RD..." or "Wah...this guy 3-pack enough or not???" Heh heh
In any case, below is the evidence of what they got me...

A "Close Fit" to mark a memorable evening...

2) Prior to this...we actually had a DAMN DAMN GOOD time chatting and talking cock (pun intended) at "The Coffee Connection"...and this was before the purchse at 7-11 mind you...
We had interesting conversation about... (in no order of priority)
- Freaky Waiter who was spying on wayward Lawyer (Angela)
- Why Eugene has become more polite and horny ever since he got attached... go figure
- What Eugene's gf does behind the blinds in his room...
- Why Angela-Ming Yuan-Eunice does not understand the meaning of "in your room"...throughout the evening, they repeatedly ask me... "WHAT YOU MEAN SHE'S IN YOUR ROOM?"
- Me explaining "in my room" to them repeatedly.
- Angela's explanation that "in you room" got many meanings...
- Me again saying, "Yea...she's just using the room" and also having to explain how I managed to kick my very sweet roommate out. (he's away on a trip to India and Nepal lah...)
- Friends asking if my gf does my laundry...and me saying "Yea...she does. Was shocked to find my laundry washed and folded neatly in my cupboard"
- And our good friend Angela tells me that's BAAAAD... at this juncture...its funny to hear a girl tell me that its bad for another girl to do my laundry. I thought its the guys who have these issues. (on a side note....thanks babe...for helping with the laundry. Very SURPRISED.)
- Angela-Ming Yuan-Eunice again asking me "WHAT'S SHE DOING IN YOUR ROOM?"...at this point in time...I starting to wonder if there's some webcam in my room...secretly filming for the hedonistic pleasure of a cranked up lawyer, tourist promoter and a SINGTEL employee...
(Maybe Eunice will use me as next Singapore attraction...)
- Seriously starting to worry as well...how come my friends so desperate to see my gf. They actually asked me to force her down. Sigh...before this night...I thought I had a nice bunch of civilised folks I could introduce her too. After that night...I fear...
- The worse of it all. They actually ponder if they should drive back to my hostel...so they could see her "in my room". (Exibit A: Girl in Eugene's room. Here you see the female of the species comfortably exercising her neural capacity mugging for her exams in a room. The room has 4 walls and a door...ever so often the species will eat and sleep. Occasionally she will help with laundry) Eunice...yea...I can be next Singapore attraction.
- How I am the only grandson in my family...so 3 generations are counting on me... yips!

3) So TCC had to close...and we adjourned to meet at the Esplanade park for a longer chat. It was just one of those really swell evenings and we were having tonnes of fun. Angela hasn't heard the story about how I got hitched...so I had to re-tell it again to everyone. With added bits of extra and drama from Ming Yuan which I never knew existed...And after I reached the conclusion which Angela seems awfully pleased about. Everybody's just enamoured that I've got a girl in my room....hahaha. So they present me with the condom.

At this point...it was laugh out loud crazy man. I figured it out the moment they said they had a reward for me. Yea...7-11...you can make certain connnections.

4) Interestingly...I started looking at the labels behind. And we started discussing them! Hahaha it's actually pretty amusing what the back of a condom box says...

Check out the Tagline!
"Durex Close Fit condoms are narrower than standard condoms to provide a tighter fit for extra confidence"
So...the next time you need to feel confident. Hahaha.
And Ming Yuan saying that we wear them under our pants...which in itself is also wierd.
In any case...so now you know where to get extra confidence.

How about "Non-vaginal use of condoms may increase the risk of them slipping or being damaged"
Duh. But it does leave much to the imagination...what non-vaginal use means as well. Well...I suppose its the goverment's way of encouraging creativity.

And the one which we debated about and thought really funny...
"Nominal Width : 49mm"
What exactly is Nominal Width? Hahahahaha....

Last but not least...something I just noticed...check out where its manufactured!
So reassuring...

the back of the Box...hiak hiak

OK...Thanks guys. The night was just truly memorable. Made special by them condoms...hahahaha.

This one of those nights that go down in history. The stuff of legends and folklore...
This kinda stories...will keep on telling man.

For all you LOTS club fellas thinking of getting hitched... BEWARE!!!
And Janis...I worry for you...you got a wedding coming... Hahahaha

Ramblings...just ramblings.

2004-11-09T04:24:00.000+08:00

I shall begin with the number 2...
That's the number of times I washed the same set of clothes. Why? Cause of the rain...which seems to fall every afternoon. I've contrived that the heavens are against me. Everytime I leave the laundry out to dry, the rain falls.
And just when I happen to go home...the sun comes out in a blistering blaze of glory...leaving me to regret not drying my clothes in the hostel.
Well...on hindsight, I suppose I've reached a stage where I can whine about laundry.
Step 1 to being a house-husband completed...

*Please...just let my undies dry THIS TIME...

So here's the 3rd entry of my prestigious blog...
Started writing cause I got fed up with assignments.
Seriously lost man...sometimes dunno what I do all these for.
I suspect I might regret joining teaching...so much admin and paperwork.
But I've always like interacting with people...especially kids. I like to make them laugh.
Hmmm... I think I should be a professional clown.

Lost as I may be...I'd like to reflect that a new inspiration has come to my life as well.
Funny thing called love...strikes you when you least expects it.
Leaves you breathless.
So amidst all the confusion and turmoil...at least a few things still remain clear...and I am grateful.

"i find peace when im confused.i find hope when im let down.not in me, in You.its in You.Hope to lose myself for good.i hope to find it in the end.not in me, in You.In You." -Switchfoot

And there's family. Eccentric ol' mum of mine and one silent cranky dad...and a dear sister who's coming back for a wedding ceremony in 2 weeks. And the whole kampung...cousins, aunties, uncles, nieces and nephews. Sometimes...weekends with you guys truly keeps me sane. There is no greater comfort then returning to the warm embrace of a loving family. Thanks folks for making it all special.

And there's friends. Dear ol' Jon once said meeting up was like "touching base"...a return to roots...a warmth shared by a common bond. How true. Missing you peops of the 14th SC.
Some friends I dun meet for ages...but we can meet in 5min and it will seem like time has not changed a thing. Kie Hian, Kar Hoe, Wee Keat to name a few. Happy to grow old with you guys.
Shared experience...stupid moments in camp...they belong to a select bunch of individuals from HQ 21 SIB. Wonder when we'll meet for soccer again...seems so long already.
The pounding of the ball...and tok kok sessions on cool saturday evenings and hot sunday afternoons. Cheers to the basketball fellas as well.
Last but not least ODAC...for 4 years of academic life...and a whole lot of crapping, singing, camping, cheering, hiking and EATING! Looking back...its been such a wonderful journey. Thank you for standing by my side.

And to many more I have met along the journey. Thank you for your contributions on each step of the way.

Hahaha....just realised I kinda sounded suicidal there.
No no...just appreciating family, friends and a special someone on a cool tuesday morning.
Nothing wrong ok...I've got dreams to chase still...I am not COMPLETE...

Ok...ramblings stop here.

Narcissist and the origins of eunene...

2004-10-19T01:33:00.000+08:00

Yah...I'm a narcissist.
So sue me...this is MY BLOG you looking at.

Anyway...in Singapore (where I'm from)...
"Narcissus" is a my favourite brand of button mushrooms...

ok no bloody relation. Go figure.

In any case...do admire Eu Neh Neh below.
That's how most of the NTU Outdoor Adventure friends pronounce eunene...
But I dun mind being called Eu Nee Nee as well...

tomato : "toe-may-toe"... "ta-mah-toe"...
potato : "po-tay-to"... "pa-tah-to"...
eunene : "eu nee nee"... "eu neh neh"... [shrugs]

Eu neh neh rulez!!!

I think I should explain "eunene"...and its origins.
Way way way back in 1995...when the internet was still a fledgling and before the whole dot.com bubble...
I signed up for a Pacific Internet account. Back then this was HUGE...and pretty expensive too.
So anyways...me and my sister had to think of an email address...
My sister being Eunice and me being Eugene...we came up with some possibilities...

euneug... nicegene... etc etc. (@pacific.net.sg)

somehow, the other names were taken...and so I just wrote eunene@pacific.net.sg at the sign up counter. Lo and behold... "eunene" was born!

After that...I had to spend some time persuading my sister that this was the right email name for us. Not to mention I stood to gain the most from this name...coz out of six letters in eunene...5 of them are mine. Heh heh...

In any case...the name stuck. Her frens call her eunene too...and so do my friends.

Next...we are lobbying to make "eunene" an official word in the English vocab.

Stay tuned...and don't you dare EUNENE with me or I will EUNENE you upside down...

Dedicated to the memory of Christopher Reeve

2004-10-18T17:45:00.000+08:00

So this is it...

I finally succumb to writing in a blog. A little piece of digitised me...on the big bad internet.
Not too bad.

Have to dedicate this to some friends of mine who inspired me to do this...namely Guo Pei, Eunice, Sonya, Vasun, Chee Kong and Jian Quan. Seeing the blogs you guys have...kinda inspired me to give it a go.

Dun have much to say as a first posting...but I'd like to highlight Christopher Reeve's passing. He's the guy who played Superman in the movies.

Why him?

For a variety of reasons...but I think its just cause he made me BELIEVE that man could fly and that I too could be a superhero (weight issues aside). I can't remember when I first watched the Superman movie...but I do remember always being a fan.

He made me wear my undies on the outside...I think I'm still tempted to sometimes...

He made me fly off the chair and unto my bed...sadly the forces of reality and gravity prevailed...but there was that tiny split second where I just knew I flew. I DID!

He made me bug my mama for a Superman T-shirt complete with cape when I was young...

He made me stare intensely at my mama(trying to burn her with my heat rays) when she refused to get me the T-shirt.

I can't put in words why he's passing moves me. But I think its because my childhood hero has passed on. Its like a part of you dies with him.

So I feel sad. Never knew I'd be affected by an actor's passing...but I am. I mean...he was Superman. There was no other who played Superman like he did. No other who flew the way he did... There was no other who inspired and fueled my childhood like he did...

Good bye Christopher Reeve... You will always be my Superman...
Thank you for growing up with me...for providing me endless hours of imagination...for giving me superhero values which I could live by...for living a life worthy of a Superman.

Rest-in-peace dear buddy... its good to see you flying again... may you soar high into the heavens.

"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." -- Christopher Reeve

** Do visit http://www.supermanhomepage.com and http://www.christopherreeve.org for tributes to Christopher Reeve